Glenn Beck, jar of pee connoisseur, jeans shillsman, and all around tear-filled manatee of ridiculous bullshit, tried to buy Current TV, and this is a real thing that happened. Continue reading
glenn beck
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We wonder if those America jeans, or the gold shilling isn’t going so well? We wonder this because Glenn Beck, who’s never been known for being the sanest person to ever set foot out of Fox News, probably needs to stop consuming so many crazy biscuits like immediately. He’s nearing some sort of meltdown. And we imagine if or when it comes, it won’t be pretty. In fact it may require a litter box. Continue reading
We all know that Glenn Beck enjoys waging war against things he considers un-American, or pro-Kenyan, or anti-wingnuttery, or whatever, so now he’s taken up the blue jeans mantle. The controversial, America-threatening institution of dungaree-wearing. He must save us all. Continue reading
The Patriots© at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze have uncovered a grave scandal in the Obama administration. Actually, they copied a story word for word from The New York Post, but taking the time to write up your own summary is socialism, so what the hell. Anyway, Nobama has once again proven to be a treacherous enemy of America by purchasing a tour bus that was made in socialist Canada!
Actually, The Post story admits that only the shell of the bus was manufactured in Canada. The interior was customized and the bus was sold to Secret Service in 2010 by Hemphill Brothers Coach Company, which is located in freedom-loving Tennessee. A (presumably) annoyed spokesperson for the Secret Service points out that the buses meet specific requirements to protect candidates and may even be used to transport the 2012 Republican nominee.
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Most Americans are probably familiar with a number of popular conspiracy theories about how the government and global elites are somehow plotting against us. It is a multi-million dollar industry in this country to scare the beejesus out of everyone by invoking the government boogeyman.
The theories are as diverse as America itself. It can be Freemasons (classic), The United Nations (trendy), or lizard people (incoherent). However, the general theme is always the same. A group of elites are reforming the global power structure to make a naked grab for power and enslave and/or kill us all. This is called the New World Order, and once it is in place you will be sent to a FEMA camp with your family because you believe in Jesus and work for a living. Michelle Bachman will not protect you.
However, the details are often vague about how these elites operate and many questions are left unanswered. Who are these elites? Why do they have this insatiable blood-lust? Why do they hate decent, God-fearing people? Where do they operate from?
Fortunately, the Internet’s conspiracy detectives have found the answer to the last question. The homicidal global super-elite, who have the resources to base themselves anywhere in the world, have chosen the Denver International Airport as their home base for world domination. Why? Well, why not? I don’t know, I guess NORAD is nearby. Look, that’s not important right now! We must keep up the panic.
Anyway here is the gist of the theory. The Denver airport is actually the top level of a giant and secret military installation that will be used to imprison those who resist the NWO and to stage military operations in the US. The proof is that the there are tunnels under the airport that will be used for these purposes (the tunnels are actually used to move baggage). Additionally, there are cryptic words like Dzit Dit Gaii embedded in the floor of the airport that are clearly code for the elites (they are Navajo words for places in Colorado). Finally, there are these really freaky murals in the airport that are clearly an allegorical representation about what will happen when the NWO comes (actually it is just crappy, hippy art).
Anyway, I will let you see the evidence (?) for yourself. Thank God that the global elites don’t know about You Tube or we would all be doomed.
This guy has more of a Christian take on it, but he is way more entertaining than the other nuts. He actually refers to himself as The Third Eagle of The Apocalypse. Now that’s a user name!
Well it’s official. America’s official wingnut siren Glenn Beck will be ending his daily show on Fox News by the end of this year. It’s sad news to his loyal, but incoherent fan base. As you can imagine, they are devastated.
America’s lame stream media is of course rejoicing, as are George Soros, Nancy Pelosi, and the kids over at Media Matters. However some of us are going to kind of miss old Glenn and his nightly panic-spreading and gold shilling. Here are a few great Beck highlights for those of us who are going to miss having Glenn Beck to kick around.
Here’s Glenn laying out the truth about the Egyptian Revolution. Some of his finest work exposing the elites who plot against the decent folk who watched the show.
Here’s some of the two part series about the Holocaust surviving Nazi George Soros who is ruining the world by giving money to people who are trying to stem corruption in the developing world.
And let’s not forget this classic.
However the people who will probably miss their daily dose of Beck most are America’s comedy establishment.
And the comedian who has undoubtedly benefited the most from Beck’s two year parade of batshit crazy has been Jon Stewart. Beck not only provided night after night of easy jokes for Daily Show writers, but he was also the inspiration for the hugely successful Rally to Restore Sanity. Thursday night Stewart gave a magnificent send off to Beck that gave a nod to the inspiration that Glenn created for The Daily Show. Here is an excerpt.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Glenn Beck Announces His Departure | ||||
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Damn Glenn, I am going to miss a regular dose of your madness. To be honest, I think a lot of liberals will. Who will be the target of our outrage? Who’s name will we invoke as the ultimate broadcasting insult? The election season is going to be a lot less fun without his theories and his chalkboard. We can only hope Fox is in talks with Michelle Bachman.
Oh well, I guess we still have The Blaze.
Yesterday it was announced that former Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN) was joining Fox News as a “political commentator and analyst.” My initial reaction to this news was to frown and shake my head. I am, to say the least, not a fan of Fox News. For the record, I am also not a fan of MSNBC. But, I’ll get to that in a moment. I don’t watch Fox News, so this isn’t a criticism of their news coverage or political commentary. My objection to Fox can really be summed up in two words: Glenn Beck. My problems with this hatemonger are manifold, but I’ll just mention one. As a Jew, and, ahem, specifically a Reform Jew, I strongly object to Mr. Beck being given a national, mainstream platform to spew his barely cloaked Elders of Zion Jewish world control conspiracy theories.
Because “ratings matters,” I would prefer that my fellow Americans choose to express their disapproval of Mr. Beck by not watching Fox News so long as he is on the network. By joining Fox, Sen. Bayh, a centrist well-spoken and intelligent man, is not helping in this cause. This is particularly disappointing to me given the Senator’s involvement in No Labels, an organization founded by a bipartisan group of current and former elected officials, including Independent Mayor Bloomberg, former Republican Congressman Scarborough and former Sen. Bayh, who are “frustrated and concerned about the tone of politics” and believe “hyper-partisanship is destroying our politics and paralyzing our ability to govern.” Hmmm.
In thinking about this yesterday, I tried to understand how sharing a network with Mr. Beck furthers the goals of No Labels. When the Bayh news broke, my Facebook page exploded with comments- many echoing this sentiment. However, there were opposing views. Here is a comment from a friend and political activist: “But even No Labels has to have a conduit for promoting its message. Mass media is media for the masses, and influencing those masses is how we change the system.”
Ok. This is a valid point and it got me thinking. Now, let me move at this point, to why I dislike MSNBC, because it’s relevant here. First, I find MSNBC and Fox much too partisan and slanted in their reporting to be a news source for my tastes. I hate surprises. I’d prefer to have all the facts, mitigating and otherwise, on an issue before I start forwarding around while jumping on my high horse about it. But, the bigger issue I have with MSNBC is their role in mainstreaming and rehabilitating the noxious racist, Pat Buchanan.
For those used to seeing Pat joshing around with our favorite liberal lesbian, Rachel Maddow, here’s just a sampling of Mr. Buchanan’s less adorable beliefs in his own words:
After Sen. Carol Moseley Braun blocked a federal patent for a Confederate flag insignia, Buchanan wrote that she was “putting on an act” by associating the Confederacy with slavery: “The War Between the States was about independence, about self-determination, about the right of a people to break free of a government to which they could no longer give allegiance.”
On race relations in the late 1940s and early 1950s: “There were no politics to polarize us then, to magnify every slight. The ‘negroes’ of Washington had their public schools, restaurants, bars, movie houses, playgrounds and churches; and we had ours.
But, as I thought about my friend’s comment, it occurred to me that Mr. Buchanan does not say these things on MSNBC and doesn’t seem to say them much anymore at all. Hmmm again. So, now I’m asking myself: should Mr. Buchanan be shunned for his past horrid behavior or is it better that because of his appearances on MSNBC he seems to actually have moderated his statements, if not his beliefs? Is it better that, even if he secretly still believes them, he doesn’t say them anymore?
All of which brings me back to Senator Bayh, Glenn Beck and Fox News. So, now I’m conflicted and not sure where I stand. Is it possible that, simply by having individuals of Mr. Bayh’s caliber, Fox News may move away from commentators like Glenn Beck? Is it possible that Sen. Bayh’s participation may temper Mr. Beck’s more unacceptable statements, at least on his Fox News show? Is it better to take a principled stand against Beck and Fox News or to engage to try to change them?
Hmmm for a third time. What do you think?
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