ben carson

3 posts

GOP Debate Live Blog Hellfest: Debatepocalyse Now

debatepocalypse-16R-2aThe hucksters, has-beens, never-was-es, and other assorted homunculi who make up the GOP presidential primary circus are gathering tonight in Las Vegas for another debate. Which of the tiny people will dare assault towering front-runner/cartoon villain Donald Trump? Buttery-soft Canadian Ted Cruz? Empty JC Penney’s Boy’s Collection suit and part-time senator Marco Rubio? What about fading shell-of-a-man John Ellis Bush? Will he land any blows with his soft little aristocratic fists? Oh, and the fat dude, the crazy doctor, and the mean lady will also be there. Join as we gaze in wonder at the whackadoodle spewing from their pie holes! You can enjoy the horror show here at CNN at 8:30 PM.

Three More GOP Candidates Enter the Clown Car

crazy ben500Where once there was only Canadian man-monster Ted Cruz shrieking gibberish into the diners and tractor showrooms of Iowa, now there are dozens of deluded GOP has-beens and never-wills gabbling and honking across the Iowa countryside, demanding to be taken seriously as presidential candidates. Today, three more clowns entered the clown car. Carly Fiorina, who gained valuable executive experience driving HP into the ground, and not-right-in-the-head neurosurgeon Ben Carson announced that they, too, plan to waste a shitload of other people’s money in a pointless run for the presidency. Gravy-scented professional yokel Gov. Mike Huckabee announced he’s also going to run. Continue reading

The 2016 Election is Coming!

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Sure, the corpses of the fallen in the 2014 election are scarce cold in their political graves, but hey, the Iowa caucuses are a mere 53 weeks away. 2016 is coming! On the Democratic side, it’s still not clear which obscure weirdo Hillary Clinton will blow her prohibitive lead to, but the Republican side is shaping up to be quite the busy clown orgy. Let’s gaze in dismay at this gabbling horror of potential GOP 2016 candidates! Continue reading