Tonight America’s long national nightmare comes to an end. Or a beginning, depending. Joins us for the exciting season finale of the most horrible reality tv show ever made. Here are some things to bear in mind as the long darkness descends. Continue reading
2016 election
14 posts
Admittedly, the first draft of this post read simply: ‘It’s Hillary. It has been since Memorial Day. Just stop it.’
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Once more unto the breach, dear friends…
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Somewhere in the mess that became the 2016 presidential election, Donald Trump went from scumbag, real estate mogul to a dinner table tall tale. He edged away from being held accountable for his bigoted, sexist, destructive talk in every way a presidential candidate should be. He managed to transcend the responsibility heaped onto every other candidate that ever ran for the office, and is, as he always has been, flying by the seat of his pants, uncontrollably, manically, and with complete abandon of social mores, God-given intellect, and human decency.
In effect, he is an abomination hurtling through space, knocking the tenets of Americanism asunder by plundering anything positive and laying waste to it with every decision he makes — and that was before the release of the infamous Access Hollywood tapes — or the accusations of sexual assault by several women from Trump’s past. Continue reading
The second presidential debate is upon us, as the ancient prophesy foretold. BEHOLD, THE MONSTER WALKS AMONG US! Will he be able to speak, and answer for his crimes? Or will he lash out, and throw Anderson Cooper into a pond? Watch and see!
Like the previous debates, it starts at 9:00 PM Eastern on ABC, NBC, Fox, CBS, MSNBC, Fox News, Fox Business, CNN, Univision, Telemundo, and C-SPAN. YouTube will be streaming it. Here is a guide to some of your viewing and streaming options . Continue reading
Come and watch America’s two whitest politicians whitesplain themselves to skeptical voters! See pale cartoon Racist Bannon listlessly defend his running mate! Watch Tim Kaine make Hillary Clinton almost charismatic! Curse our founding fathers for creating an office as dumb as the vice-presidency!
It starts at 9:00 PM Eastern on ABC, NBC, Fox, CBS, MSNBC, Fox News, Fox Business, CNN, Univision, Telemundo, and C-SPAN. YouTube will be streaming it. More details here. Continue reading
Panic in Detroit! Enjoy the latest GOP debate hellfest! See America’s Most Hated Canadian pummel the Great Orange Monster with his soft little fists! Watch the wee Boy Senator make poopy face! Hear homespun bullshit from that other guy! Mourn the absence of the smooooth soft jazz stylings of Dr Ambien! Starts at 9:00 Eastern on Fox News. You can live stream it here. Continue reading
Behold, the final GOP debate before Super Tuesday, where young Marco Rubio is poised to win more participation trophies! See the Amazing Sweating Boy! Gawk at the World’s Most Despised Canadian! Despair at the jackass who will most likely be the nominee! Oh, and the governor of Ohio and some somnambulant doctor will also be there. It’s on CNN at 8:30 PM Eastern. You can livestream it here.
Tonight the surviving Republican preztestants leave the harsh frozen maple wastes of New Hampshire and go to the swampy seditious mire of South Carolina, home of the next primary. Who will take on gargantuan cartoon colossus Donald Trump? Unlikeable Canadian Ted Cruz? Flavor-of-the-week John Kasich? Shorted-out sadness droid-child Marco Rubio? Ghostly apparition Jebulon Bush? Watch and mock/weep! The debate is on CBS at 9:00 Eastern. You can watch the stream here. Continue reading
Yesterday, your humble correspondent went undercover disguised as a New Hampshire voter — corduroy pants, L.L. Bean sweater and sensible winter footwear — as distinct from the pack of campaign reporters flown in from places like the District of Columbia and Brooklyn, dressed in skinny jeans, striped dress shirts, slim-cut blazers and overlong, square-toed dress shoes. Continue reading