How To

68 posts

Share Your Holiday Recipes

worfsgiving2 The time of the foodening is at hand! Gorge on the flesh of big dumb birds! Eat weird crap your mom makes once a year! Pretend the pie your weird co-worker brings to the holiday potluck is not repulsive! If you have any good recipes, or cooking stories, share them. I’ll start us off with a cranberry bread recipe. Continue reading

QOTD: Mouthwatering Sandwiches

Or, the not so humble sandwich. I have here on my plate a sandwich of roast beef, cambozola cheese and arugula, on potato bread. A moment of reverence for this divine combination, please.

In the image you see the Vietnamese classic, a banh mi. Variations abound, but start with a good crusty French roll (Vietnam was colonised by the French for awhile, and has glorious bread). Then you’ll want mayonnaise, soy sauce, sliced meat, sliced cucumber, cilantro and jalapeno slices. Maybe some daikon, pickled vegetables, sliced onion. Leaves of whatever lettuce you have handy. You get the picture. Eat it with a Vietnamese beer – the county was also colonised by the Germans for a period. Continue reading

The Hobbyist: Tools of the Trade

Michelangelo and da Vinci were true Renaissance Men; skilled sculptors, painters, architects, and engineers. However, their great works did not come into existence purely by the waving of hands. They, like every man before them, stretching back to the creation of fire and the wheel, relied on tools to bring their vision to reality. It is in that spirit that we move on to discuss the implements of creation, the tools of the trade.

Crack open your toolbox and get a hardware store on speed dial. I am… THE HOBBYIST. Continue reading

Explainer: Twerking, Droppin’ it Like it’s Hot, Dippin’ it Low, Backin’ it Up Slow, Shawty Gettin’ Low Low

TwerkingOur very own alluson asked:

What’s the difference between twerking and dropping it like its hot?
Or dippin’ it low and backing it up slow?
Or shawty getting low low low when she’s wearing her boots with the fur?

As an expert on such subjects Ofkinheimer has produced the definitive guide on all such matters.

1. “Twerking” is just one continuous motion that primarily employs the lower back, pelvic and gluteal muscles. Dancers bend to their knees slightly, anchor their hands on knees and use to the lower back to ignite repetitive continuous movement around the midsection. The ideal position is similar to trying to take a shit in a public toilet and not wanting your ass to touch the nasty ass toilet. Envision this. See?! Once in this position, wave your ass around. The more fat you have around that general area, the more pronounced the jiggling is. Continue reading

Minimalism, Expatriation, and Getting Rid of Your Crap

As some of you know, I’m about to embark on a trip to become an expatriate. I turned twenty five a few days ago, and I accepted a job offer overseas a few days before that. I am a long time resident of a smallish college town in Texas, made famous by the college, football stadium, and its small string of bars just north of campus. I moved here at eighteen and have never really looked back. I worked on my degree and never really thought that I’d stay here forever. I ran the off campus BONFIRE for a couple years, and traveled all over the tri-state area speaking at former student clubs, and meeting people from all walks of life. I got a job just outside of town immediately after graduating, and just kind of never left.

Continue reading