Welcome to this week’s installment of the Blerg and Biz Blove Blog. As the title suggests, this week we’re discussing some of our successes and failures.
Blerg: Online dating successes… During my first go round with online dating in 2006, I was on eHarmony. I got matched with a guy that lived in Minnesota. We went through all the BS “guided communication” that eHarmony makes you do and then started messaging on our own. We just emailed for a while and then eventually exchanged phone numbers. Though we were never officially “together” he was part of my life for three years. After that I was kind of done with online dating for a while – too much work and I was starting to meet new people in real life.
And yes, I am guilty of just hooking up with someone I met online. I almost said no because I put it out of my mind because it was so terrible. Oh, and then it happened again a couple weeks ago. Let’s just say I’m never driving to Chalmette again.
Oh, here’s a story. I was in Chicago for my second go round on eHarmony. I got matched with a guy. He wasn’t the best looking guy, but he was nice and asked me out. We had drinks one night and then he asked me out for a second date. It went ok. He walked me home and then went in to kiss me. Probably says a lot how I felt about him that my reaction was to back my face away from his. Before that we’d agreed on another date, but I couldn’t get ahold of him beforehand. When I checked my eHarmony account, I saw that he had “unmatched” us due to lack of chemistry.
What about you?
Biz: Alright, here goes.
Successes: Two FWBs, one new friend. Admittedly, a generous definition of success, but I’ll take it. For the first two, we had met on Craigslist (before it was entirely hookers and bots) and OKCupid. We hung out and occasionally did the horizontal mambo. Broke things off with the first when I had to move back home, and the second found a more permanent dance partner. As for the new friend, that’s a recent thing. I really enjoyed our dates but she didn’t want to pursue a relationship, and I could really use some new friends, so I’m giving it a shot. Admittedly, we’ve only hung out once in a platonic fashion, but it went well, so it’s a start.
Failures: The biggest failure of a date I’ve ever been on happened a few months ago. We agreed to meet for dinner, started talking, and the whole date fell apart. Trying to find common ground, something to talk about, was like pulling teeth. I tried movies, TV, music, talking about her work, anything to find an avenue of discussion, and there wasn’t anything there. On more than one occasion, we just sat there in silence for a minute or two eating while struggling to find something to talk about. Just horrific. I’ve been on a few dates with women that clearly used pictures from a few years and quite a bit of weight ago, but those are more depressing than fails. It’s an awful position to be in; you’re not attracted to this person, but you don’t want to be mean and call them out on it. So you grin and bear it, and life goes on.
Tinder has been interesting in that respect, as it’s forced me to make snap decisions about people. I’ve been on a few spur of the moment dates but nothing with any real value yet.
Be sure to join us next week (or later this week) when Biz and I talk about the “ghosting” phenomenon.
