Thanks to some ill-advised attempts to obtain a pair of shoes, I’ve been summonsed here among you, to dole out compliments and wisecracks about the comments you post here, in such a self-aggrandizing way.
I have put on my court-mandated orange vest and will now begin my community service sentence, which requires me to read everything you’re posting for the past week. You’d best entertain me or I will look into my crystal ball and see who’s going to turn into a flying monkey in the near future!
Whoops! Threats like that are what got me in this position in the first place. How did I get so lucky as to pull this duty? I guess telling that kid she was gonna die and then throwing her into a field of opium poppies was overkill, wasn’t it? Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
Those shoes were mine, you know. They were promised to me.
Let’s get on with it, shall we?
Monday: Boredcoworker sparked a thoughtful discussion about jumping into the hot tub that is Crasstalk: 
Honourable mentions to MonsieurMilk for giving us a new comedy form — The Flounce Joke, which immediately became A Thing, and to Mothergooch, for inventing a new type of selfie, the someone-painted-a-portrait-of-me, or the spelfie.
Tuesday: Thunderclees put a final flourish on the discussion of Skahammer and his… predilections:
A tip of the hat to Amazon for her drelfie (self-pic in a dress) while she was wearing red slippers. Matty, we’d like to know who tipped you to this video:
Wednesday: Whoa Hop reminded us that It Does Get Better, by reporting the phenomenon of two boys kissing at a bus stop and everybody around them being all NO1CURR. Sweet and lovely. 
Buick, Maxi and BadHatHarry quickly knocked that sweet taste out of our collective mouths:
Also, Dogs and EN made it plain, in no uncertain terms, that the SeaWorld foolishness needs to end, and quickly.
Thursday: Turns out BobGeorge is a video vixen of the classic variety. She even appears in your dreams, for the right fee. Wonder how that works with IMDB.
Friday: DontMakeMe pointed out DogsOfWar’s shit-stirring on Twitter:
And to cap the week off, Buick and Harry had a delightful exchange which warmed my cold, cold heart.
And with that, I have fulfilled my court-mandated review of this week’s comments. I’ll see you again soon, my pretties, as soon as the orange vest comes back from the cleaners.
Image credit: Wikimedia Commons