Sometimes you’re sitting there singing along with that song you’ve had a million times and then you stop and say to yourself, “hey, wait a minute, that doesn’t make sense and is actually wrong.” Well those lyricists out there sometimes just jam words together, don’t actually know what they’re talking about or change reality to fit their rhymes.
Here are just a few songs that have lyrics that are factually incorrect.
Fleetwood Mac – Dreams – “Thunder only happens when it’s raining”
Wrong, thunder happens when lightning rapidly heats and expands the air around it causing that sound we call thunder. Lightning you probably have noticed can happen without rain.
Alanis Mrissette – Ironic – “It’s like rain on your wedding day. It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid. It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take.”
No, none of those things are ironic, they just kind of suck.
These nice ladies helped Alanis make it finally ironic.
The Tokens – The Lion Sleeps Tonight – “In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight.”
Lions are nocturnal and sleep during the day.
Lady Gaga – Telephone – “And I am sick and tired of my phone r-ringing. Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station.”
If your phone is ringing and you need to rhyme with that Grand Central Terminal just doesn’t work. Not that station and ringing actually rhyme, but if you mangle them enough they kind of sound like they do.
Billy Joel – Only the Good Die Young – “But they never told you the price that you pay. For things that you might have done… Only the good die young.”
Lots of people who aren’t good also die young. There’s no empirical evidence that all young people who died were good.
Ed Rush – Plastic Jesus – “Comes in colors pink and pleasant, glows in the dark ’cause it’s iridescent”
Iridescent doesn’t mean it glows in the dark, that would be luminescent.
Snoop Lion (née Dogg) – Ain’t No Fun – “It ain’t no fun, if the homies can’t have none”
While it certainly isn’t fun for the homies if they can’t have it, that doesn’t mean it isn’t fun for those who do have it.
Christopher Cross – Arthur’s Theme – “When you get caught between the moon and New York City”
The moon is roughly 238,000 miles from New York City. That mean that you’re caught about 119,000 miles out in space. You had better hope that HAL decides to open the pod bay door.
Vanessa Williams – Save the Best for Last – “Sometimes the sun goes ’round the moon”
No, that’s simply not how it works. The Moon goes around the Earth, the Earth goes around the Sun and the Sun goes around the super massive black hole at the center of the Milky Way while the Milky Way hurtles through the universe.
Prince – When Doves Cry – “This is what it sounds like when doves cry”
Doves like all birds are incapable of shedding tears due to emotional upset. Birds are capable of using tear ducts to clear debris from their eyes. There is some debate though as to whether Prince is talking about doves crying tears or crying out. But having lived in a house with a dove I have never heard one cry out either. They mostly just coo.
Jason Mraz – I’m Yours – “And it’s our God-forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved, loved”
What Jason means is that it’s our God-given right to be loved, loved, loved. Though depending on what religion you follow God actually does not even give the right to be loved by anyone but the almighty. Jason is talking about a person and not a supreme being in the lyrics.
John Denver – Country Roads – “Almost heaven, West Virginia. Blue Ridge Mountains, Shenandoah River.”
You see John, the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah River are actually in Virginia, not West Virginia. The Valley Ridge and Appalachian Plateau go through West Virginia, but the Blue Ridge only touches just the smallest part of West Virginia. Like the Blue Ridge, the Shenandoah River does touch WV, but it is primarily in Virginia.
Beyoncé – Run the World (Girls) – “Who run the world? Girls (girls)”
Running things usually is determined by who is in charge. When looking at who is in charge of the political, social, religious, economic and educational institutions of the world historically and in current times the answer to who runs the world is old white men.
Judy Garland – Over the Rainbow – “Somewhere over the rainbow, Blue birds fly.”
The thing is that rainbows (and double rainbows) are relative. What appears as a rainbow to you would not appear as a rainbow to someone located in a different place relative to the rainbow. So in that regard once you’re over the rainbow it’s probably not even a rainbow any longer.
Paul Simon – Loves Me Like a Rock – “She get down on her knees and hug me, Like she loves me like a rock”
Rocks are solid aggregates of minerals and are incapable of love.
Macklemore – Can’t Hold Us – “So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us”
Unless this is a Lionel Richie song you’re standing on the floor and the ceiling isn’t the one that’s holding you. That’s the floor. If you put up your hands the general consensus is that you are attempting to raise the roof. In which case it is you who needs to hold the ceiling up and not the other way around.
Blondie – Rapture – “And you get in your car and you drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he’s got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you’re in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin’ cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercuries and Subarus
And you don’t stop, you keep on eatin’ cars
Then, when there’s no more cars”
Cocaine is a helluva drug.
Image: Flickr
Many thanks to all those who submitted ideas.
