Hey Internet! Two-time Academy Award winner, Ben Affleck, didn’t much like your comments about his impending turn as Gotham’s greatest grizzled crime fighter with a saucy gadget belt. You really got to him guys, like really — and all it took was one comment.
And we’re shocked, really. This is Ben Affleck we’re talking about here. He spent the better part of the early aughts being called Bennifer, so Batfleck is now a problem? Haha! What? Gigli is still considered one of the worst movies ever made, and well, the scripts and all DVD copies of Paycheck and Daredevil should be set upon by a drone strike. But somehow the internet world full of fanboys and girls typing out little missives about how Ben Affleck will ruin the role of Batman who can count George Clooney and a lone Val Kilmer among its roster, is cause for going into internet exile? Well, yes. Yes it is.
That’s not to say Affleck wasn’t warned. The Big Wig execs told him that it may be a little rough for a couple days. Well, the words they used were “trying.” HA! What they really meant to say was eviscerating, mostly. But still we maintain Affleck made the awesome decision to rub J.Lo’s butt on a boat while wearing nineteen layers of bronzer and mugging for the camera as if he were Ricky Ricardo in a nightclub — and that, friends, is immortalized forever. (Like go to Google Images and put in “Ben Affleck Jenny From the Block.”) Could you imagine how much worse Bennifer could have gotten, Ben, if there were Twitter in 2003?! Good God, Man! You’d probably still be in hiding on the couch eating Lean Pockets or whatever. It would be that bad. And then you would have had to marry J.Lo., because, yawr, how else could you handle it? And then you’d be Marc Anthony, and no one has heard from that guy in three years. So basically, you should thank the internet for being so atrocious NOW and not then.
Nevertheless, Affleck was prepped for the fallout of being named successor to all Batmans everywhere, by being shown negative comments about other actors in similar roles who went on to be great. That’s a nice bit of hand-holding, eh? So naturally the Bostonian boy figured he could handle a little skewering.
E! Online reports, “I said, ‘I handle s–t.’ I’m very tough,'” he continued. “So, I saw the announcement, I look down the thing and I look at the first comment. The first comment goes, ‘Nooooooooooooo.’ I’m like, ‘We’re going to be Luddites for a while, kids.'”
Boo! What?! No snappy comeback?! You couldn’t even send Casey in and you guys do a little Funny or Die thing? Or you and Matt strike up an answer to all the haters set to song with Jimmy Kimmel? One “NooOOOOoooOOOO!” made you slam your laptop closed and step away cautiously? We expected more from you Mr. The Town.
Our guess is he’s saving it all for when he gloats after the fact, unless he’s horribly terrible and legions of fanboys will be right. We maintain that in spite of all the good he’s able to do…
… there’s still a possibility of heinous, batastic, outrageous suckage.
Image Source: Wikimedia
