Water off a Duck’s Back: RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 5, Episode 11

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And then there were three. This week the queens began with the puppet bitchery mini challenge. Jinkx and Alaska were both very funny. Detox was so-so, and Roxxxy was no-no. This kind of challenge requires a sense of humor, and Roxxxy doesn’t really have one — she’s too invested in being cruel.

Alaska won the mini challenge, and then the queens were tasked with putting together three looks for the main challenge: a sweet sixteen look, an executive realness look and a look literally (at least partially) constructed from candy. In addition, the gworls had to do a choreographed “sugar babies” number to get things started. This is it, bitches.

Ultimately, Alaska won the main challenge. Jinkx and Detox lip synced for their lives, and Jinkx sent Detox packing. Let’s break it down in a bit more detail with a look at the updated Drag Race Index.

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Click to enlarge! Jinkx and Alaska have not moved for five weeks. They are firmly in the 1 and 2 spots respectively. Boxxxy and Detox have also been static, but for only three weeks. Can the Index’s non-scientific methods predict our winner? Does it even matter? Okay, let’s break it down fish by fish.

Jinkx Monsoon

Jinkx stumbled a bit this week. I understand the judges’ criticisms of her Sweet Sixteen look, but I also appreciate that Jinkx tries to bring a different perspective to the challenges, and frankly I knew girls who dressed like that when I was in high school. Her executive look was on point, but the big flub was her candy couture look. So why is she still in the top spot of the Index? Uh, helloooo, did you see that bitch lip sync? I’ll be honest, I was very nervous because I knew she would be in the bottom two, but as soon as the song started playing, I knew Jinkxyboo wernt going nowheres. That lip sync will go down as one of the best in Drag Race Herstory. Everything about that was perfection, while Detox’s bag of tricks was conspicuously empty.

Alaska

Hieeee. Alaska did really well this week. Things were looking scary for her when her candy couture look began to fall apart in the workroom, but she managed to hold that shet together (probably with sheer will) long enough to get it down the runway and back. Bob Mackie was absolutely right when he said that it was the only outfit that actually read as candy. I love me some Alaska, and I can’t wait to see her compete in the top three. She is now the only queen who hasn’t had to lip sync. Did you catch her Tyra Sanchez reference? Maybe she will sneak past the others to victory.

Boxxxy Mandrews

Oh em gee, I hate this cunt so much. Yeah, okay, she had a pretty good night, but Alaska’s candy couture look had it all over that tassel dress thing Boxxxy made. Every chance she had she was saying mean shet to Jinkx, taking all kinds of unnecessary jabs. Ugh. Boxxxy may have the Talent part of the equation, and I might even concede she has a bit of Nerve, but there’s nothing Unique about her, and she has zero Charisma. Sorry, Boxxxy, but America’s Next Drag Superstar needs to have all four to be a winner.

Detox

Sashay away, chicken lady. I like Detox, but in some sense I feel that she’s very lucky to have made it as far as she did.

What are your thoughts, children? Sound off in the comments below! Next week (April 22) will be the final challenge and so the last time we’ll take a look at the Drag Race Index. The following week (April 29) will be a clips show so there won’t be any recapping that week — I might do what we did last year, which was to host an open thread where we could go GIF crazy. May 6 will be the final episode, a reunion special during which America’s Next Drag Superstar (and Miss Congeniality) will be crowned, and I’ll do a final recap for that episode! Until next week, my lovelies.

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