“Keep bearing light,” says the lipstick on the mirror, and isn’t that just the perfect meaningless bullshit for Serena ChaCha to say on her way out the door. Nobody is sad to have Ms. ChaCha gone, and Monica seems to be in better spirits now that she has come clean about her transgendered status and also proven herself to be a fierce lip syncer. The subject quickly changes to the drama between Alyssa and Coco. We find out that Coco usurped Alyssa’s place as Miss Gay America, but we still don’t know the full how or why of it. “Obligations weren’t fulfilled. . .and legally I had to do that,” Coco tells the other queens. They give us just enough to whet our appetites, but they aren’t giving us the full story yet. Click through for my full recap and updated Drag Race Index!
You’ve Got Shemail & Mini Challenge
Television Ru tells the queens, “America’s next drag superstar really needs to embrace her inner child.” Man Ru enters the workroom and tells the queens it’s time for the Junior Drag Superstar Pageant. The girls pair off and have fifteen minutes to turn a plain doll into a junior drag queen. Alaska and Lineysha’s Lil’ Poundcake slayed me. It definitely felt like it was mostly Alaska’s influence at play, but that’s fine, because bitch is so fucking funny. They easily win. As funny as Lil’ Poundcake was, the best part of the mini challenge was when Coco decided to take a swipe at Alyssa. “Shade,” Dickvoice whispered. Yes, bitch.
Main Challenge
The dolls have to create “lovable, eccentric characters” for a children’s television show. The mini challenge winners get to pick the teams. The two teams are:
Lineysha, Honey, Coco, Jinkx, Ivy, Jade
Alaska, Detox, Roxxxy, Vivienne, Monica, Alyssa
Alaska’s group does a barnyard themed show with Alaska playing the farmer, Buffalo Bill. Her choice to stay dressed as a man does not go unnoticed by Ru, who is there to direct the queens with Michelle Visage. Detox is very funny as the chicken character, and Roxxxy brings an appropriate amount of crazy to her performance, but Vivienne is Snoozeville, population one. I’m beginning to feel my instincts about her were right: pretty, fishy queen who is ultimately boring and forgettable. Monica forgets her lines, despite having a script right in front of her. Gworl, get it together.
Lineysha’s group is up next, and Ru and Michelle both comment on the fact that the whole team is in lady drag. They are not as well prepared as Alaska’s team was and really seem to fumble. Is this a case of fake-out editing? Will Alaska’s being out of drag play a big role in deciding the winner, giving Lineysha’s team an advantage? Not sure, but Lineysha’s team really missed several opportunities to bring the funny.
Main Stage
As the queens get ready to hit the main stage, we find out the theme for the week is “think pink.” We’ll see what that means for this group.
Jinkx talks about the fact that her grandma bought her a wig when she was just a teenager. She says her mother didn’t approve of her doing drag, but her grandmother was fine with it and even helped her out. Jinkx, I love you!
Coco and Alyssa finally talk face to face, but…we don’t actually learn much about what happened. Alyssa was dethroned…maybe because Coco told people she couldn’t fulfill her reign? I have to admit, Coco’s tears did feel a bit phony baloney, but I still don’t understand exactly what went down. Is this just another tease until we get the full full story?
The judges on the main stage are RuPual, Michelle Visage, Santino Rice, Paulina Porizkova and Coco-T.
Alaska: Part crack pageant, part avant garde? Anyway, she sells it, and I love it.
Monica Beverly Hillz: The flowers are a bit much, but otherwise she’s looking good.
Alyssa Edwards: She’s working it. Very Toddlers & Tiaras: Where Are They Now?
Vivienne Pinay: Meh. Her ballerina getup is okay, but her makeup is off tonight, not blended properly around the eyes…or something. Billy B, where art thou? A bitch needs to be read.
Detox: Love the Victorian collar. Although I’m generally not a fan of exposed fake drag tits, the juxtaposition of the severe collar with the mesh dress is pretty great, and her hair and makeup are on point as always. She so reminds me of a young Chad Michaels. She has Chad’s professional polish, but she brings something younger and fresher aesthetically.
Roxxxy Andrews: She’s bringing it tonight.
Lineysha Sparx: She looks gorge.
Jinkx Monsoon: She went full Marie Antoinette, and damn did she do it well. This is how you stand out in this competition.
Coco Montrese: Baby doll! A bit similar to what Alyssa was trying to pull off, but more successful.
Ivy Winters: Straight up showgirl. Very good.
Honey Mahogany: Okay but forgettable.
Jade Jolie: She looks great.
We get to see the dolls’ full children show videos. Alaska’s team performs much as we thought they would. Vivienne and Monica were the weakest links. Likewise, Lineysha’s group did about as poorly as we thought. Not good, ladies.
Oh shet. Ru says that they’ll be judged individually despite having worked in teams. Detox wins the challenge.
Lip Sync for Your Life
Monica Beverly Hillz and Coco Montrese are the bottom two and must lip sync “When I Grow Up” if they hope to stay in the competition. Monica is definitely not feeling it the way she did last week, and Coco is really delivering.
Shantay, Coco Montrese stays.
Monica Beverly Hillz sashays away.
Drag Race Index
Click to enlarge! So, after last week’s meteoric rise, Coco Montrese has fallen from grace. As Paulina Porizkova pointed out to her, if you do well in the spotlight then you know how to steal it, and Coco didn’t. She was bitter about being the ventriloquist’s dummy and didn’t properly prepare. Additionally, she allowed the drama with Alyssa to affect her too much. Lineysha also took a bit of a nose dive in the index. After last week’s great Tyra Sanchez lip sync, she was boring and forgettable in this week’s main challenge, and just being fishy/pretty ain’t gonna cut it.
Detox realized her full potential for me this week. She rocked it in the main challenge, and her main stage look was sickening. We knew from week one that she’d be a contender, and now we’re seeing it. Jinkx Monsoon was another one who I felt finally showed us what she’s all about. She was the only one on her team worth watching in the main challenge, and her main stage look was to die for. As reluctant as I have been to embrace Roxxxy Andrews, she really brought it this week so I had to move that bitch up.
Ivy lost some of her luster for me this week, but I still believe she’s a strong player. Despite Alaska’s boy drag controversy, she led her team to victory, showing she’s one creative betch. I think she still has some surprises in store for us, but seeing how funny she was in the mini challenge and how well she led her team in the main challenge, I definitely had to move her up in the index.
The judges confirmed what I’ve been saying about Vivienne Pinay from the get-go: she’s pretty, but that’s it. She’s forgettable, and it was glaringly obvious that she didn’t have the talent to excel in the main challenge. If she’s lucky enough to make it to the Snatch Game, that will be her undoing because she doesn’t have it in her to really perform. I predict she’ll be lip syncing for her life next week. Honey Mahogany isn’t far behind her. There is nothing special about her, and her performance in the main challenge was middling at best.
Jade Jolie is on the bubble for me right now — I liked her main stage look, but she didn’t do that well in the main challenge. I’m reluctantly accepting that Alyssa Edwards might be a true contender.
What did you think of last night’s episode? How would you rank the dolls? What about Alyssa and Coco’s drama? Sound off in the comments!
