Gooooold Fingaaaaah!

Now that we’re done with Chanukah, done with Christmas and Boxing Day, and wending our way through Kwanzaa, it’s time to stop thinking of others and concentrate on ourselves. Self, you might ask, what was your secret heart’s desire for this holiday season, the thing you dared not ask for, and yet hoped that someone would bring to you simply because they know you too well?

Self, you would answer, you know that is the “gold pills” from That is the elite treat that can’t be beat. Oh, the gold pills. Take them, and they infuse your poop with gold! Imagine your delight as you arise from the toilet and look down upon your golden product. That would truly be a proud day, wouldn’t it? One imagines all the Kardashians take these pills several times a day. Except for Bruce. No gold pills for him.

Tobias Wong, the product designer who brought the gold pill into being, also created a set of silver pills, if you’re feeling poor or are wearing something that would clash with gold. The silver pills seem rather downmarket and gauche but there’s no accounting for taste or Honey Boo Boo, is there?

Tell us in the comments: what is the gift you did not get, but wish you had?