I’m not a believer in New Year’s resolutions. I have always felt that if you need to change something about yourself, there is no need to wait until January 1.
I do like to indulge in making predictions for the new year, and I’d like to hear what you think will happen in 2013.
For Crasstalk, I predict:
- Bots will give up all hope for Crasstalk and let this place become the go-to spot for kitty pics and videos. Maybe some Brony action too.
- GI will find a job with the CIA tracking overseas threats.
- Dogs will finally reveal his true identity.
- Monkey Biz will get a girlfriend and will toss the blow up doll away for good.
- SixThirty will have to move, again.
- HomoViper will still not attend a Crass meet up, but does marry Lala.
- Ofkie will seek help for his raw chicken phobia. The cure does not involve gin.
- Badhatharry and Cookies have triplets.
- Turdhurdler will no longer refer to her children using vernacular for excretory functions.
- Ross gets a kidney and feels much better.
- Blackball will get a full night’s sleep.
- The mighty Duck gets a new mallard.
- Jenna’s excel sheet gets a virus and she has to start from scratch.
For the real world, I predict:
- Kim and Kayne’s baby will be a boy and they will name it Jeffrey. She will stroke the furry wall during labor.
- Congress and the President figure out how to play nicely in the sandbox with each other.
- Miley Cyrus has a Brittney-like blow up.
- Kstew gets married.
- Jessica Simpson, after giving birth to #2 and immediately after cashing another Weight Watchers check, becomes pregnant with number 3.
- Honey-Boo Boo asks for a guardian to watch out for her money.
- Brangelina remains unmarried.
- Lindsay Lohan does something stupid enough that she meets her maker.
- Taylor Swift has several quick romances which results in gut wrenching break ups. A whole new album is created.
- Donald Trump creates a hair color company and markets his personal hair color as “Money.”
What are your predictions for Crassers and the world in general?
