carnack-mag

I’m not a believer in New Year’s  resolutions. I have always felt that if you need to change something about yourself, there is no need to wait until January 1.

I do like to indulge in making predictions for the new year, and I’d like to hear what you think will happen in 2013.

For Crasstalk, I predict:

  • Bots will give up all hope for Crasstalk and let this place become the go-to spot for kitty pics and videos. Maybe some Brony action too.
  • GI will find a job with the CIA tracking overseas threats.
  • Dogs will finally reveal his true identity.
  • Monkey Biz will get a girlfriend and will toss the blow up doll away for good.
  • SixThirty will have to move, again.
  • HomoViper will still not attend a Crass meet up, but does marry Lala.
  • Ofkie will seek help for his raw chicken phobia. The cure does not involve gin.
  • Badhatharry and Cookies have triplets.
  • Turdhurdler will no longer refer to her children using vernacular for excretory functions.
  • Ross gets a kidney and feels much better.
  • Blackball will get a full night’s sleep.
  • The mighty Duck gets a new mallard.
  • Jenna’s excel sheet gets a virus and she has to start from scratch.

For the real world, I predict:

  • Kim and Kayne’s baby will be a boy and they will name it Jeffrey. She will stroke the furry wall during labor.
  • Congress and the President figure out how to play nicely in the sandbox with each other.
  • Miley Cyrus has a Brittney-like blow up.
  • Kstew gets married.
  • Jessica Simpson, after giving birth to #2 and immediately after cashing another Weight Watchers check, becomes pregnant with number 3.
  • Honey-Boo Boo asks for a guardian to watch out for her money.
  • Brangelina remains unmarried.
  • Lindsay Lohan does something stupid enough that she meets her maker.
  • Taylor Swift has several quick romances which results in gut wrenching break ups. A whole new album is created.
  • Donald Trump creates a hair color company and markets his personal hair color as “Money.”

What are your predictions for Crassers and the world in general?