Welcome to another exciting week in assholes. I know many of you are wondering if I am going to recognize VP Nominee Paul Ryan this week. Although Mr. Ryan is undoubtedly a douche of the highest order, I am going to let him start with a clean slate and prove himself anew. Don’t worry, I suspect we won’t have to wait long.
Let’s start, as we often do, in Louisiana. Here’s a case of strange bedfellows for you liberal types. This week State Representative Valarie Hodges (R-Watson) decided to pull her support from Governor Jindal’s school voucher program. This is probably good news. Louisiana’s charter schools have become a national joke because of their lax standards and ridiculous course offerings. However, there is always a wrong reason to do the right thing.
“Unfortunately it will not be limited to the Founders’ religion… We need to insure [sic] that it does not open the door to fund radical Islam schools. There are a thousand Muslim schools that have sprung up recently. I do not support using public funds for teaching Islam anywhere here in Louisiana,” Hodges was quoted as saying in the Livingston Parish News.
So religious freedom only applies to Christianity for Rep. Hodges. I have a strong feeling she may have attended a substandard charter school herself. Jesus, who could not be reached for comment, must be terribly embarrassed.
The Huffington Post must have become the paper of record this week for assholes because here is another winner from their site. This week they told us about crazy outbursts by the American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, who has advocated setting up an “underground railroad” to kidnap children from gay families. You know, for Jesus. This not only makes him an asshole, but also an advocate for violent crime. Even my fucked-up “American Family” didn’t pull shit like this. Here he is blathering on about how geighs are icky and child abusers.
Did you guys know Phyllis Schlafly was still alive? Me neither, but she is! Here she is this week discussing how Obama is “wiping God out of public life.” You can tell this is true because people like Phyllis Sclafly are totally prevented from publicly discussing their religion. Oh, wait, thats totally not true. I’m giving Phyllis our special Asshole Legacy Award for her comments about the subject this week:
That’s right and over in the Middle East he repeated, ‘we are not a Christian nation.’ While he is trying to wipe Christianity out of our public life, he is giving a pass to the Muslims. He never says anything criticizing that. He says they are a peaceful nation, well I don’t know when I see those pictures of the World Trade towers I don’t think they’re very peaceful.
Know someone who is such an asshole they deserve to be recognized? Email me at [email protected].
