The Daily Sausage – Thursday Edition

Hey hey ho ho al-Assad has got to go, promising polling, scenes from this American life, Romney hasn’t done his homework, National Disaster Area, San Bankruptadino, Tabbi on Weill, Obama’s Big Stick, Australian gun control, questions amid tragedy, and homicidal inequality.

Welcome to the Daily Sausage.

First up: via Al-Jazeera, President Obama has signed a “secret” order permitting the CIA and other US Agencies to support Syrian rebels seeking to depose Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

The order sets aside $25 million for non-lethal assistance to the rebels, and $64 million for humanitarian assistance to the Syrian people.

If you’re looking to build international goodwill, providing people trying to overthrow their unjust and unhinged government with non-lethal assistance and humanitarian aid is a really good way to do it.

Next up: polls!

Via the Daily Kos, President Obama is overperforming, and Mitt Romney is underperforming, according to national polls. Most promisingly, President Obama is polling at 48% and 50% in Ohio and Pennsylvania, while Mitt Romney is polling at 42% and 42%, respectively.

Allow me to put that in context: for Mitt Romney to win the Presidency without Ohio or Pennsylvania, he would have to win every state he’s supposed to, as well as New Hampshire, Wisconsin, Iowa, Colorado, Nevada, Florida, and North Carolina. Based on recent polls, the only one of those he’s winning is North Carolina.

President Obama won’t repeat his 364 Electoral vote victory from 2008. Indiana and North Carolina were flukes brought about by high voter turnout among traditionally Democratic voting blocs. They’ll go GOP in 2012, but barring an October Surprise, the electoral map is likely to remain unchanged otherwise, which gives President Obama a 332-206 victory.

Looking downticket, there is some good news for Democrats. If Mitt Romney continues to put his foot in his mouth, and incumbents like Steve King continue to shoot themselves in the face by saying very, very stupid things, there remains hope that the Senate will remain under Democratic control, and Boehner’s GOP majority in the House could be significantly whittled down by replacing obstinate firebrand Tea Partiers with moderate Democrats. This potentially gives Boehner cover to negotiate with Democrats on bipartisan legislation, and with Harry Reid’s acceptance of the urgency of filibuster reform in the Senate opens the door for a much, much more productive second term for President Obama.

From Ed at Gin And Tacos, “Scenes From This American Life”:

Yesterday approximately 20,000 people around the world died of starvation while hordes of mostly old, mostly fat white American Christians flocked to a fast food chain to spend money and consume fried chicken from cancer- and disease-ridden chickens that suffered every second from birth to slaughter to show support for said chain’s willingness to donate millions of dollars to stop The Gays from getting married.

Meanwhile, people who buy multiple boxes of Sudafed or who purchase money orders over $1000 end up being tracked by law enforcement while individuals who buy thousands upon thousands of rounds of ammunition are not.

Cool. Carry on.

I have a cat. I also have allergies. When my allergies get bad, I have to go to the drug store and show ID to buy my allergy medicine, because I only buy the good shit with pseudoepinephrine in it. The pharmacist records my name, address, etc., and sells me my pack of pills.

I can go to Wal-Mart down the road and buy 50 rounds of 9mm ammunition and no one will say a damn thing other than “Cash or credit?”.

Jared Diamond, author of “Guns, Germs, and Steel”, slammed Mitt Romney in an Op-Ed in today’s New York Times, saying, in response to Mitt Romney’s comments regarding the differences between Israeli and Palestinian cultures, “That is so different from what my book actually says that I  have to doubt whether Mr. Romney read it.”

In other news, The USDA has added 218 counties to the list of primary disaster areas, bringing the total to 1,584 in 32 different states, which means that over half of America’s counties are now considered disaster areas.

As a resident of one of these disaster areas, let me just say: it sucks. We’ve seen only a smattering of rain all summer. Temperatures are regularly in the 90s. Water rationing has been in effect for weeks. Lakes, reservoirs, and rivers are several feet below normal levels.

And all so a bunch of fat cat scientists can dive into their gold and diamond encrusted pools filled with Dom Perignon after getting rich off the global warming hoax.

Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi has posted a response to Sanford Weill’s call to break up the Too Big To Fail banks, saying:

This should have been a debate-ender, a signal that we can all move past the arguing phase and get to the more daunting logistical task of breaking up mega-firms like Citigroup, Bank of America, and J.P. Morgan Chase.

But it didn’t turn out that way. The dug-in stalwarts in the major financial outlets, much like Japanese soldiers still swearing allegiance to the emperor from Pacific island bunkers years after Hiroshima, came out blasting Weill for, in essence, kowtowing to (probably communist) popular opinion.

He’s absolutely right. This is Einstein coming out against the atomic bomb. The Too Big To Fail banks will not be broken up willingly. They’ll fight, tooth and nail, every step of the way. But, just like Teddy Roosevelt broke up Northern Securities and Standard Oil, President Obama has to break up Chase, Bank of America, and Citigroup.

Speaking of Teddy Roosevelt, here’s President Obama’s big stick.

In 1996, John Howard, a staunch Australian conservative prime minister, implemented gun control, banning semiautomatic and automatic rifles and shotguns. It also implemented a buyback program for newly banned weapons. Yesterday, Howard called on the United States to implement a similar program.

There is strong circumstantial evidence to suggest that homicide and suicide rates fell significantly as a result of Australia’s programs. It’s estimated that there are approximately 40 million guns that would have to be bought back and destroyed were the US to implement a similar program, which is a major stumbling block both financially and logistically, but is not insurmountable.

Police in Jonesboro, Arkansas have launched an investigation into how 21-year old Chavis Carter was shot in the back of a patrol car while handcuffed. Carter was arrested after a pickup truck he was in was pulled over and police found “some marijuana”. Carter was handcuffed and placed in the patrol car, after which he apparently shot himself in the head.

I’d like everyone to do an experiment for me. Place your hands behind your back, as if you were handcuffed. Sit down. Now imagine removing a gun tucked into the waistband of your pants, and shooting yourself in the right temple (where Carter was shot). I don’t know about all of you, but I couldn’t do it, which makes me think these cops are completely full of it.

Finally, a new study has emerged in the wake of the Aurora, Colorado shootings, showing an unambiguous link between income inequality and the rate of homicide. Widespread economic disparity has also caused an education gap, increased the burden on Social Security, and stifled the political power of the middle class.

As I mentioned yesterday, there’s a storm coming, and it’s only going to get worse from here.

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