I was originally going to write a review of the Showtime reality series Polyamory, but I think any discussion of the show needs to focus on the Douche² couple that have dubbed themselves as the architects of the San Diego polyamory movement: Kamala and Michael. I understand they are also the face of a class action suit against SuperCuts. I suspect that these individuals represent the polyamory community about as effectively as Snooki represents the average woman who lives in the New Jersey area.
Kamala and Michael are married and live in Southern California, which apparently has very lenient cosmetology licensing standards. This is a quote from Kamala’s blog: “She is a natural born muse and inspires every person she has ever touched.” Kamala is concerned for the evolution of the planet. She doesn’t associate anything with mere sex. It’s all about love and caring spaces and sharing and putting positive energy into the universe.
We’ve all met women like Kamala. They have lots of enthusiasm but no discernible skills. Women like Kamala are often ambassadors for special diets, yoga, meditation, and other sorts of specialized practices that help them preach their zen twenty-four hours a day. This particular woman has landed on tantra and polyamory, but you get the sense that it could just as easily be kale and a yogi. She has a plethora of products for sale on her website and can help coach you into expressing your sexuality ethically, whatever that may mean.
Michael serves a few functions on the show. First, he represents all the Americans who have been victimized by Fantastic Sam’s. Next, he wears terrible shirts that occasionally feature embroidery. He is also keeping the flame of love alive for pleated pants. When they come back into style, he will be a fashion pioneer.
However, these are minor distractions compared to Michael’s main purposes which are:
- Expressing his desire to have sex with almost everyone he sees.
- Trying to find new age, hippie ways of expressing his desire to have sex with everyone he sees.
- Convincing himself that everyone wants to have sex with him and dismissing any unwilling participants as having “monogamist hang-ups” while constantly serving as the cuckold while his wife bangs most of Southern California.
Michael has contributed some facts about himself to Kamala’s blog. Some of the standout facts include:
- While escaping from the police on a moped through the jungle in Thailand, I got Denge Fever, and survived.
- I get younger looking each year.
- I traveled the Amazon and studied a rare catfish that swims up the human urethra.
- I love spontaneous sex.
- I share a blind hairdresser with my pod lover Tahl.
What has Michael been up to lately? While he should be preparing his lawsuit against Supercuts, he’s instead been trolling the bars hoping fans will recognize him and want to have sex with him. If you meet Michael, he will probably want to have sex with you. It is a given that you will want to have sex with him. If you don’t, you have been programmed by society and you are not appropriately embracing life.
I’ve been examining the other show participants. Some seem like nice people. Others like to discuss fetishes about bowel movements and I may be writing about them if there is any group interest in mocking these people. I encourage you to watch a clip of this show so you can, at least, get to know Kamala and Michael.
You might also enjoy: Should Polyamorous People Be Offended by Showtime’s ‘Polyamory’?
