It looks like we’re going to continue seeing how news teams handled the past while it’s the present for another season; Norman Bates will have pimples; Bristol Palin to talk about pimples and child rearing at bedtime; Ryan Reynolds’ suck streak continues; Stay at Schrute Farms, tell ’em Mose sent you, even if we can’t find him.
So it looks like we’re just renewing any old show that’s able to put together a script and make some sort of speaking things happen whether or not they sound like they’re being read from cue cards or the worst off-off Broadway play you’ve ever seen. Well, yes! This is exactly what’s happening for HBO’s Nightly News cable drama, The Newsroom. It premiered a week ago, or if we’re talking about a show that discusses past events, premiered somewhere between 2010 and last November. At any rate, Jeff Daniels and his surly face grimaces will be back for a second season, so says HBO who’s decided to put in action the “Let’s Just Go With It!” plan to television success. True Blood, that show about Elliott Stabler moonlighting as a vampire high priest will also be renewed for another season of we don’t know…Alcide’s lickable abs loaf and Jason Stackhouse’s naked pelvis divot moats gyrating seductively while Sookie screams and Bill says, “Sookeeehhhh!”, or whatever else happens on that show. #Magic Mike. [Deadline]
It was always a foregone conclusion that we’d go back to the Bates Motel, right? Like seriously, for years we’ve been trying to figure out just what was going on in old Norman Bates’ head that made him turn all cuckoo clock. It’s not like he lived in a creepy old motel and witnessed some sort of weirdness that went down with his mother whom he dressed up as and killed people for. We certainly need to know how this whole story went down. Dammit. See this is why Elliott Stabler should stop playing around with those vampire cultists and come solve this riveting mystery. No? Okay, fine. A&E will attempt to uncover it all in a prequel series that’s being called “a cross between Twin Peaks and Smallville.” Oh, geez. So another dead girl show mixed with a sudsy drama starring kids doing an eight-year high school stint. It should be all angsty and cliffhangery and everyone will be a suspect, yet only we will know the real killer is Bates, because we’re special, and because we know how this story ends. Mother. Dress. Rocking Chair. Shower. We’re the best detectives ever, well, when we know everything. [THR]
Bristol Palin, the most successful Palin if we’re judging the least time spent wondering how she got a public stage, is having a bit of trouble with her reality show about being a “baby mama.” It seems most people just don’t give a sack of monkey crap about the parenting skills of a former teen mom whose own mother entered our national conscience using the desperate political crowbar 9,000 year old John McCain handed her some four seasons of Star Fleet Admiral blazers ago. Lifetime the network for ladies with lady parts has pulled her show Life’s A Trip from its Tuesday 10 PM slot and moved it to 11 PM the time when the Palin’s core audience falls asleep to the evening news and wakes up just in time to turn off Johnny Carson. Dance Moms, what seems to be a show about the higher echelon of nutty moms trying to use their kids for superstardom, will commandeer Palin’s 10 pm slot. [Deadline]
What the hell is going on with Ryan Reynolds’ career? It’s like he turned to his agency and said, “Uh, okay, guys. I’m gonna trainwreck for like 3.5 years. You know, do a lot of FUBARed movie crap. Horrible CGI superhero movies, shticky comedies, and terrible reboots. But don’t worry, somewhere around 2015 I’ll get my shit together and do a movie where I cry on the beach after my girlfriend gets eaten by a shark or a giant porpoise and it’ll be a wonderful, beautiful thing….but until then? Yeah, complete and utter shit.” Yes, this. He’s just been tapped to play the lead role in a Highlander remake. There never needs to be a Highlander remake. There were sequels and an awful television series. Why create something that ends with, “Oh, yeah, Ryan Reynolds starred in the remake last year. It turned out like an Adam Sandler fart joke.” See? Nothing good can come of this. [The Tracking Board]
Um, where’s Mose? NBC who plans to produce an Office spin-off called The Farm about the Schrute Bed and Breakfast down on the beet farm, has announced a whole litany of characters that will make up Dwight’s family. There’s a sister, Fannie, she’s down to earth. Jeb (of course there’s a Jeb), Dwight’s brother who’s also a worm farmer and a Bigfoot hunter; Cameron, Dwight’s nine-year old nephew. He’s smart! and weird! Naturally! And finally there’s Heinrich, the great uncle and possible Nazi, because Nazis are now funny we suppose? Regardless, there’s no sign of Mose who was played now and again by Office co-exec producer Michael Schur. We just assume that if Mose isn’t a titular character on the show they better write a good reason why not. You know something like he was tapped by NASA to see if beets could be farmed on Mars or something, but really he’s just in a lab simulation testing the effects of fertilizers on humans, but he doesn’t know it. You get the gist. [TVLine]
