The Five Best Telenovela Faces in Last Night’s True Blood

It’s so strange to find that I now dread Sundays when I’ve been so accustomed to looking forward to them. Why, you ask? Well, join me after the jump to find out.

This dumb episode was so much less lame than usual, which means it was mostly boring–or rather, boring anytime Pam wasn’t on screen being beautiful and perfect. Hell, this week’s episode even made sense thematically!! Can you believe it? I was surprised to find that I had only taken three screen grabs in the first 30 minutes of last night’s “Whatever I Am, You Made Me.” Last week I had that many in the first TEN. It was slightly more difficult than usual but I can assure you, there were still the five best (worst?) telenovela faces to be had.

1. Detective Stabler The Guardian is looking all guardian-ly as he says, “Bring in the new Nan Flanagan.” Because apparently “Nan Flanagan” is the name of the position rather than the name of a person?

2. Steve, please, try not to bust a nut because you can feel the Guardian’s pecker pressing against yours. Contrary to the gossip of the repressed, gay sex isn’t actually just two dicks touching.

3. D’aaawwwwwww guys, Bill Compton thinks he looks threatening to Eric Northman! How adorable.

4. Mystery creature you smell deeeeelicious! You’re not in danger, I swear! No danger at all! Nope!

5. Of course nothing is going on, why would you think that anything is going on with me, Sookie Stackhouse, the least dramatic person in the world?

And some honorable non-face mentions:

Arlene’s fanny pack, which I obviously covet.

Hoyt discovering his inner angsty teenager after dropping $100 at the nearest Hot Topic.

Stupid thematically consistent episode. You can’t do this to us, True Blood writers. We’re just not used to it.

[Header photo source]

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