Preparing for the End of the World In Just One Bag

Ever wonder just what the hell you would do if the Apocalypse came? And we’re not talking about some little natural disaster, oh, no, we’re talking about seas boiling, clouds of tear gas, dogs and cats plotting their revenge, and all other manner of indescribable horror, or just your run of the mill zombie outbreak. What would you need to survive? Or better yet, what would you need to survive that could all fit into one pack?

Uncrate.com, the digital magazine for guys who love stuff, has the answer. In their bug-out bag, which is so aptly named, you’ll find the many items that could keep you from becoming zombie chum, or barring all else, will at least make you go out like a real “Ash” Williams. So that’s something to be thankful for, maybe?

And really if the world has gone completely to shit you really had better have a firefighter axe, a machete, a Pump-Action Shotgun, climbing rope, and a titanium spork. Well, what else will you use to eat both beans AND canned ham when you’re in a wilderness camp on alert for zombies, werewolves, rage virus affected humans, cannibals, demons, and/or genetically mutated piranha with wings? Who has time for more than one dining utensil? Spork. Machete. That is all.

Here’s the entire list which is all available on Amazon.com. Well, for now. Who’s to say what will happen once the aliens start concealing their appearance and using subliminal messages in mass media to rule the world. Amazon will probably not really be up and running then.

Wowsa! Did they forget anything? What about the bathtub in which to hide in? Now that you know what you’ll have in your bags, tell us all the creative scenarios you’ll need for that microfilter and those outdoor knots. We’re thinking in some weird Parkour meets Waterworld dystopian future?

Also, fifty points to anyone who can illustrate an event where potassium iodide tablets are needed. Yikes! We’ve read “reduces harmful radioactive iodine” and that sounds like some scary shit!

Hat-tip to commenter Madfall.

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