Sarah Palin the queen of infuriating coy wordplay wanted to wring out the announcement of who she voted for in last night’s Alaska caucus until the very last dregs of relevancy could be gleaned. Which means until everyone interested, Fox News, CNN, practically threw up their hands and said, “Look, tell us, or we’re shutting off your mic.”
Since she’s still holding on to formally endorsing a candidate until that statement comes with a Price is Right Showcase Showdown Package full of crown jewels, a talk show, and the key to Sean Hannity’s private backstage bathroom — we’ll all have to make do with her choice last night.
But wait! Fox News Channel president Roger Ailes is rapidly tiring of her little games, or as Sarah would say “Foolin Pranks!” especially since she’s on the Fox News payroll. Naturally, he expects first dibs on any and all announcements Palin might have. Which must stick in his craw whenever it seems she’s willing to dance for CNN first. Last night, however, she dodged their inquiries and settled for telling Fox Business News that she voted for “the cheerful one” referencing a recent CNN debate. (Oh, Sarah. Cheeky, much? But, heh, eat it, Roger. CNN can still turn your empty-headed debutante’s head, eh?) Finally, she came out and told Fox that she voted for Best Girlfriend, Newt Gingrich, who has praised Palin in the past, and even alluded to giving her a cabinet post if he were elected president, because there’s no better way to scare Americans than with a bullet named Sarah Palin aimed at destroying a federal agency.
So basically an also-ran voted for another also-ran. It’s like there’s a club or something. Oh, right. It’s called the Republicans.
Don’t forget to watch Julianne Moore, Ed Harris, and Woody Harrelson in Game Change this Saturday at 9pm on HBO where they’ll demonstrate the epic fail in choosing our good friend Sarah as a Vice Presidential candidate in live action!