Yes, that’s right, that’s a reference to the 1995 film Johnny Mnemonic starring ambulatory wooden plank, Keanu Reeves. Now, though, they’ve decided to go with an ever more lock-jawed leading man, Robert Pattinson, best known for rendering a legion of teenage girls speechless upon view of his iridescent torso.
If he’s not a robot in this particular movie than someone will have to explain the Krang sized cranium on this kid to me.
From this newly released teaser it looks like the world is some sort of futuristic debauched place. Think most every movie you’ve probably ever seen with a whacked out future portrayed as an actual character in the film, Blade Runner, Total Recall, even the hapless, confusing, and downright awful Jude Law thriller, eXistenZ — add to that a seemingly lawless dude running around drunk on the highs of life with guns and futuristic Sabarros Italian eateries (That’s certainly what I come up with when I think future wants and desires, bullets and mass marketed lasagna), and you have a David Cronenberg film filled with mystery, capitalism, and other future-y, future things that happen in Metropolis. There’s the maiden reading a book! A naked chick with a gun, POW, POW! Sex! A mussed Robert Pattinson hair debacle! A death wish, and a….um, rhino! Yes, I think that was a rhino getting stabbed in the eye! Why? Because it’s a Cronenberg film! Pssshaw, you guys are amateurs. Scanners, Videodrome, shall I mention eXistenZ again?
Anyway, so if you really need to see another one of these movies, because you really can’t guess what weirdness could be wrought when he’s not making Viggo Mortensen get all leathered and badass (and your fanfic just doesn’t live up to the genius of C-Berg), then well, settle in for Cosmopolis starring Robert Pattinson. Hey, maybe he’ll become the next Jude Law — or is Jude Law now hoping to become Robert Pattinson? Yikes.
