On Saturday night the world was gifted a precious soul. One chosen to possibly lead the world out of rampant darkness. It is she who will make us mere mortals stop and consider what the outcome of our lives would and could be, for without her ethereal light, the continued downward spiral of man will not lapse. She will be the bringer of peace and joy, and become the protector of legions of humans on this wasteoid piece of rock we call Earth — or she’ll just be a celebrity’s kid and we’ll all watch while the paparazzi covers her wardrobe, birthday parties, and days out with mom that include the tagline “Beyoncé and Blue! They’re Just Like Us!” Seriously, it will be either world domination or photo ops at Build-A-Bear.
You would think news of a baby’s birth would be met with nothing but oohhhs and ahhhhs, right? Well, not if that baby is being labeled a jerk less than 72 hours of being born. And it’s totally not the baby’s fault! You see, the baby has had no choice in her parentage. It’s not as if she were asked to be born to two people who are more than a bit obtuse when it comes to sharing space with others on this smallish planet we all inhabit. Sadly, by virtue of having jerkish parents it begs the question whether or not it will automatically make said offspring a jerk too? See that? Here two days, and people are already asking if you’ll be a Diva just like Momma.
Clearly, we don’t think little Blue Ivy is in the hospital nursery elbowing other babies out of the way in order to get the best wool cap, or the best receiving blanket, or to have the most primo cloth diapers. Surely not. That would be crazy. We’re sure she can’t even say “wool cap” much less strategize grabbing the best one. What we can say is that her parents have set up a path that if the best wool cap in the whole hospital somehow miraculously made its way onto little Blue’s head, there’d be no proof of how it got there. And if some other baby is now wearing a substandard, second rate wool cap with an inconspicuous little B embroidered on it, that’s just some sort of coincidence. A switcheroo has happened…and none of it was caught on tape! Damn, that baby is crafty! It’s totally not the fault of anyone who has rented an entire wing of a hospital. Not at all.
However, here are a few things one should definitely not do:
- Deny other new parents access to their newborns in the NICU because your precious cherub has entered this world.
- Keep hospital hallways off limits to parents and hospital staff because someone could possibly, maybe, get a glimpse of your new baby angel
- Shut down sections of a hospital because you’re moving around on the wing you spent $1.3 million to secure like a military base
- Tape over security cameras and black out internal windows from the hallways into the ward, thereby putting others in the hospital at risk
Bottom line: Why set your newborn up to be the most spoiled, over-accommodated, possible obscenely over-marketed child in all the world? (Blue Ivy, is rumored to be named after several of Jay Z’s albums containing the world blue, and the couple’s love for the number four, IV.)
There is something to be said for privacy, sure. We all want those special moments to be something sacred and intimate for our family and loved ones, but there is also something to be said about humility and grace. Instead of bringing this child into the world like some hugely pampered princess, and treating the hospital staff, and other patrons of the hospital like second class citizens, could it have been classier to have a stringent no cameras rule in place, yes, but also be a real person who’s just concerned about the health and safety of their baby, while understanding that every person in the hospital feels the same way about their own newborn? If you felt the birth of your child was so high profile, why not take that $1.3 million and install a temporary birth/infant suite in your home for your post-op recovery?
There are times when you can be a “Diva” and times when you should check that persona at the door, put the Hollywood grandstanding by the wayside, and tone down the celebrity factor just a bit to do your best to keep your head and everyone else’s in the same stratosphere.
As an indication of the opposite of that, Jay Z has already released a song about the birth of his new daughter. Man, that was quick! He says of new Blue Ivy: “You’re my child of a child from Destiny’s Child.” Er, ah, ok. She even gets credit in the liner notes since Jay says the song features B.I.C. (the razor?) which we assume is short for Blue Ivy Carter and a baby is heard crying at the end of the song. He also alludes to another supremely private moment now available for public consumption…an earlier miscarriage. Sincere proud papa syndrome? Or hospital controversy distraction and publicity stunt?
Glory – Jay-Z feat. Blue Ivy Carter by Warhol2011
Never thought we’d be impressed with Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon for avoiding a media frenzy with a semi-quiet birth, and taking the time to be parents before showcasing their kids off to the world.
So, Jay and Bey, while you’re thinking about public statements with regard to the birth of your baby, how about you do the graceful thing and thank the hospital and patients for putting up with your whims, and apologize for any inconvenience you caused. It’s okay to be excited about the birth of a baby, but it’s not okay to take that excitement away from other parents who have experienced the exact same precious miracle.
