Greetings, Programs. Wait, let me start again. Hoi, Chummer! No, that’s not right. Do over. Hellllooooo, Nurse! I give up. This week, there’s been a lot of talk about second chances. Sony wasn’t exactly pleased with how you handled their security breach, Universal Pictures wants to pretend The Wolfman never existed and Halo: Combat Evolved gives Master Chief’s armor a fresh coat of paint. All this and Gary gets what’s coming to him on this week’s Nerd News Roundup.
Gaming
- I could potentially play Chrono Trigger on my phone?! The next sound you will hear will be that of a million nasally voices gasping in delight.
- The Remastered Halo: Combat Evolved will include voice controls. Developers have yet to reveal how yelling “motherf*cking noob” continuously will correlate into gameplay.
- Sony decides that it’s in your best interest to not start a class action lawsuit if they are breached again. Don’t you feel safer already?
- Honey Badger don’t give a damn about kicking your ass in NBA Jam.
- Apple is not amused by your satire, especially if it concerns Apple.
Comic Books
- There’s been a lot of Archie news lately, hasn’t there? Well this time, Archie’s first openly gay character(Jughead’s still closeted), is getting married!
- Major Bummer, the super-slacker Hancock wishes he was, is getting a Dark Horse collection. Now you can relive the joy of a Nazi T-Rex getting beat up by a giant house cat.
- Three major newspapers will not let Doonesbury besmirch Sarah Palin’s good name when the facts are perfectly capable of doing that already.
- In comic books, death is more of a vacation than anything permanent. Cable has just returned from his and it definitely didn’t put him in a better mood.
- Gary, the asshole, has been arrested and his victim proves he’s 100-times the man he’ll ever be.
- Seattle’s Electron Boy has passed away. He will be missed.
Television
- Fox plans to bring you some undead vengence/drama in the form of a tv series based on DC’s The Spectre. Here’s the first episode’s script:
EXT. ALLEY – NIGHT
The SPECTRE slowly stalks after JONES. JONES falls on his butt and tries to back away on all fours.JONES
“What are you?!”
SPECTRE
Vengence.END OF EPISODE
- More evidence that Fairy Tales are the new Vampires: ABC and the CW both announce shows based on Beauty and the Beast. I suppose the real question should be, which one will be the most douchey.
- FX announces a new animated series from the makers of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and the animators of Archer. There is a strong possibility you may need therapy after watching it.
Movies
- Caution: The following photos are not from a Michael Jackson biopic. They are actually from Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows remake. Honest.
- The Goon offers a quick public service announcement in this early test footage.
- Universal calls do-over on The Wolfman.