Jim Carrey scares us with his honesty; What’s interesting about the 1890’s? We have no idea. Well, obviously they should have made a game out of Sorry; Remember Heathers? Well that guy will be on TV again, yay? Timothy Olyphant likes to wear jeans and we like it so much we could watch more; The Game of Thrones keeps getting awesomer!
Today’s Hollywood Dish needs a restraining order.
That’ll Do, Jim Carrey. That’ll Do: Wow, yeah. Nothing says weird infatuation like seeing a middle-aged man using the technology to profess his love weirdly for a young Hollywood starlet. Some are calling this little escapade into Pervy Uncle Dom cute, or earnest, or somehow comic? We’re going to call this “creepy old guy rambles in front of a camera under the guise of being comic and topical but really just coming off like a Match.com date you seriously underestimated and now…well, now he’s gone all Joe Francis on you.” In this recorded message Jim Carrey says how beautiful and talented he thinks Emma Stone is. Was this already weird? Yes. Should he have stopped there? Definitely. He goes on to discuss the appearance of their potential children. Uncomfortable. Wait, this has got to be the end, right? He couldn’t possibly go any further. HE DOES! He fantasizes, and then laments what their sex would be like. We’re thinking a lot of old balls and surreptitious farting! He closes out the “Come Stroke a Fifty Year-Old” message by indicating that he has face lines and increasing prostate trouble! Emma Stone at this point is probably laughing but inside…having a mental-barf. Anyway, here it is, in all it’s insane glory. We’re pretty sure Carrey meant this as a joke with some real undertones, but he needs to remember that we don’t think he’s funny in that way anymore, so this really just came off as inappropriate and desperate. All the things old guys shouldn’t be. It’s possible he’ll never work professionally with Stone…but then, you know Hollywood…be prepared for The Crush starring Jim Carrey as Alicia Silverstone, and Emma Stone as Cary Elwes.
Grey’s Anatomy at the Holiday Inn?: Shonda Rhimes, producer responsible for resurrecting Patrick Dempsey’s career, meaning that many of us no longer have as our lasting memory Dempsey on a riding mower with a cowboy hat and a cute chick on the back as they mow off into the sunset (Damn you, Rhimes!) will produce the next big show about the complicated lives of people not named Katherine Heigl. Rhimes will produce a period drama for ABC set in the 1960’s called On The Boardwalk about a bunch of kids who summer down in Ocean City Maryland, where they dance the Froog, ride in fast cars, discuss politics and civil rights, all while falling in love and discussing their futures. Heh. No, not at all. There’s nothing left of the 1960’s. Television has ravaged it for everything it once was. All there is now is the dried husks of Elvis and Sally Field. That’s really all. Who will try and make those two things work? CBS. Probably. They’ll take my idea, won’t they? Yup. Anyway, Shonda’s show will be called Gilded Lillys to be set in 1890’s New York City. All the hot soap opera drama will center around a luxury hotel instead of a bustling ER ward. This doesn’t sound as fun as Megan Fox trying to act her way into a 1960’s bikini, right? [Deadline]
Bad Luck to Drop a Ouija?: This is one of those ideas that was just odd to begin with. Apparently Universal entered into a deal with Hasbro to produce a number of board game related films including, Clue, Monopoly and Magic, The Gathering. Battleship starring The Rock and Rhianna, which looks like the worst movie evar, was the first such foray into dumb nostalgia filmmaking. The next installment was set to be Ouija, which we assume had something to do with a Ouija board, because there are so many stories waiting to be told about the Ouija, yes? However, Universal has dropped the project due to an epic miscalculation of what audiences really want out of their movies. Actually they’re claiming economic woes and not well, you know, grandiose stupidity. Ouija was budgeted north of $100 million dollars! And what exactly was all that money going to be spent on? Flying Ouija boards? Gold plated, diamond encrusted Ouija board set trailers? Just what? One good thing to come out of this, with the exception of everything, is that Michael Bay was set to produce, and well, anytime we can stop Michael Bay that’s always a good thing. [Deadline]
Christian Slater’s Forehead to Still Be on Television: Well, I certainly thought Christian Slater’s career was over after the movie Kuffs, didn’t you? Like many former 80’s stars Slater found his way to the little dark den of television where you can win an Emmy just for appearing on SNL. So Christian was the lead on this television show called Breaking In, which we suppose was about some sort of grifters, or burglars, or con men, or a security team full of joking twenty year-olds, something along those lines. Fox canceled it, because no one knew if it was about grifters, or burglars, or con men, and there’s already apparently a show called Leverage that’s about something similar that many people who are not Spirit are actually fond of. So away it went, and there was Slater just left running his fingers through his hair, doing Jack Nicolson impersonations, and going up to the Hollywood sign with a microphone shouting “Hard Harry” into the ether! Somebody got him down off the sign and told him that Fox is willing to bring back his little show for a second time as a midseason replacement. Wow, Fox has a lot of faith in this Christian Slater…or does the Fox CEO owe him a bit of money from a thing back in Vegas a few years ago? Possible. [Deadline]
Westerns are the New Vampires: Once we as Americans find a thing, well that thing sticks for nearly forever. We’ve now decided that vampires are no longer a thing. Sorry Rob Patt and Kris Stew! Yeah, you guys have a movie coming out, but your fate has been sealed. You will be beaten by a Western next go round. To that end, the producers of Friday Night Lights are creating a new show for NBC based on a script from Friday Night Lights writers Pete Berg and Liz Heldens. No news yet on what this whole Western thing will be. Can we assume they’ll find some new Timothy Olyphant guy to wear a Stetson, walk with a swagger, and just heat up the screen? Possibly. Or they’ll get Josh Duhamel and then our dreams will evaporate like so much milk on a hot rock. He’s just not as sexy and funny as he thinks he is, right? Well, I don’t think so. This new western will join a good few more coming your way soon. AMC has something called Hell On Wheels planned, TNT is doing a thing called Gateway, and not to be outdone, ABC and CBS nabbed David Zabel’s Gunslinger (Such an original title, right?) and James Mangold’s Ralph Lamb, respectively. [THR]
Game of Thrones Has Too Many New Cast Members to Name: So you know that little show that was all the rage this year? You know a little show about dragons, an imp, a boy king, and a girl with a sword? Yeah, well, they’ve been on a casting spree for the last few months and nabbed a whole trough of new people! I like Entertainment Weekly’s description the best. In addition to just casting British stage and screen actor Lucian Msamati as sea pirate, Salladhor Saan they’ve also cast “…a lecherous Northerner and one of his pet wives, and a faceless assassin and Theon’s fierce sister and an heir to the Iron Throne and his sorceress and the Onion Knight and a female wannabe knight and a proper princess.” So there you have it! Everyone who will be in Westeros for the next season. GOT Season 2 will be awesome! [EW]
