The pages on the calendar fly past so quickly, and the viewing audience are once again confronted with the terror of Heidi “Crazy Eyes” Klum, the formidable prowess of Meana Garzilla Fashion Editor For Marie Claire Magazine, the razor-sharp bon mots of the bitchiest orange in New York City, Michael Kors. As always, there are spoilers inside, so click at your own peril.
Tonight, pets are the theme. Let’s hope Margaret Hamilton doesn’t come along on a bicycle and snatch anyone’s Cairn Terrier, shall we?
The Best LiveBlog Comment
Two people have picked up on the product placement / product placement / product placement strenuosity on this show.
Honorable mention to Captain Snarky and Robina The First for being the first to pick up on Viktor and his “Oh My Lord Of The Rings” nonsense.
The Mini Challenge
No mini-challenges yet this season. Interesting, eh?
The Visit To Mood Fabrics
Ha ha ha, no visit to Mood Fabrics yet this season, either. Instead, we go to Pet Land, where the sewtestants are instructed to make a garment of their choosing out of anything in the pet store. Just don’t pick out things made of fabric, kids! That’s boring! Don’t bore Nina!
The Inevitable Workroom Breakdown
This week’s Inevitable Workroom Breakdown award goes directly to Bert, who picked out some items at the pet store made of fabric and made a dress for Neely O’Hara’s 1955 NBC Super Spectacular Hour TV Revue. Bert. Wow. Neely called and said she’ll pass on the dress. One of the other fabric torturers said it was a little too “Shirley MacLaine” for them, and Neely overheard it. Good thing you’ve got immunity this time, bud. Next time put the HTC Incredible down and don’t phone it in.
The Trip To Makeup and Hair
Bert showed another weakness at the L’Oreal Cover Girl Spray Booth MakeUp Station and Garnier Tre’semme Fructis Hairburning Shack. “Just make her young. And pretty. And young. You know.” No, Bertie Bert, they don’t know.
The Runway
Stacey Q was the guest judge this week, and she hasn’t removed her hair bow since her 1986 smash hit “Two Of Hearts.” Stacey, that bow used to be white. Now it’s a dark shade of teal. Maybe it’s time to let it go.
Honestly, there were too many models/dresses on the runway to adequately comment on each one. Instead, it was more entertaining / instructive to watch Michael Kors’ expressions as the models walked. Barbie Julie did a passable impression of Michael’s horror-stricken expression as he saw the Bryce “wee wee pad” monstrosity. Now you know that growing up privileged is good for something.
Deliberation Amongst The Judges
Candy. Corn. Teeth. Michael Kors, you have outdone yourself with this comment on Fallene’s Halloween-themed dress. Nothing else the judges said was worth repeating, except for Heidi’s wish to pee on Bryce’s “wee wee pad” skirt. Nina, saying Bryce’s hideous blue dress looks like it was “from the Blue Man Group.” Tsk. Heidi. Showing mercy? So very early in the season? This will not stand.
Who’s In, And Who’s Auf?
Oh, you thought it was Bryce that was going to go, didn’t you? Well, didn’t you? With his fugly ill-fitting top and his Stevie Nicks By Way Of Depends skirt? But noooo. No, it was Non-Gay Mormon Josh who had to take the walk of shame. After getting hugs from all the guys in the stew room.
For reals, check out how much the judges loved Bryce’s nonsense:
On the other side of the aisle, Ohio Oliver With The Madonna Accent was duh winnuh. A simple pet bedding ombre skirt and a simple shearling top, both well executed. Colorblind Uniball’s fantastic birdseed couture came a very close second. Good work on that sunflower seed collar, Uniball.
Next week on Project Runway: Heidi tries one too many “nutraceutical” skin care products simultaneously and turns into a 20-foot-tall stork woman. No, just kidding. All the models have radical leg-lengthening surgery and the designers have to figure out what to do with ten-foot-long legs. No, just kidding. Heidi takes a hit of acid and jumps on some stilts. No, just kidding. Maybe not. Wait and see in next week’s terror-filled episode!
Image credits: Original image elements for the header were found on mylifetime.com, remixed by Miss Anita Manbadly. Tim Gunn telling it like it t-i-s courtesy of Miss Anita’s blog.
