Welcome back my friends, to the show that never ends. We’re so glad you can attend. Come inside! Come inside!
It’s Thursday, and you know what that means? It’s the fourth day of the week, per Wikipedia! Oh, right, and a little program called Project Runway is back with a Brand! New! Episode! Tonight! Yay!
In case you haven’t been watching – shame on you! However, if you’ve been under a rock or in a coma these past few weeks, I’ll take mercy and give you a quickie recap:
The alleged “designers” have been given two challenges – one to make a look out of the clothes they’ve been wearing to bed and a bedsheet, and one where they had to make a look made out of pet store supplies. Both have resulted in a few abominations, a couple of good looks, and a closeted [totally not gay] Mormon got sent packing. A pity.
This week’s episode involves making clothes for women with a thyroid condition that affects only the legs. However, each woman also happens to be thin, beautiful, and look exactly like the sewtestant’s original models. Amazeballs!
As with every episode of Project Runway, it is our duty to play some sort of drinking game. Tonight, you drink when:
- Someone’s “Taste Level” is questioned
- Michael Kors references naughty bits and/or clothing in the general area of the naughty bits
- Tears are shed
- Olivier’s accent switches from midwest Ohio boy to random Madonna-esque quasi-Euro accent.
Any more ideas? Clearly the Crasstalk Official Project Runway Drinking Game’s rules are not strict, but the only hard and fast rule is, if you’re not wasted by the end of the episode, you’re doing it wrong.
Anyway, on with the show!
It was pointed out at some point this week that Anthony’s dress was basically an Alexander McQueen rip-off. +5 internets to whoever can find the picture I saw comparing the two.
Kim Kardashian y’all! Yikes.
9:02 Anthony is glad the judges notice him. It’s hard not to notice the guy with the crazy eyes.
9:03 It’s STILTS everyone, STILTS! And here I was hoping for thyroid conditions.
9:05 It’s a team competition tonight! Everyone is thrilled about their partners. This is totally going to end well.
9:10 Bert’s kind of a bitch. A well-read bitch. That just makes me love him more.
9:13 Viktor and Bert are in a bitch fight. Viktor’s going to get eaten alive.
9:20 Viktor and Bert are at it again. Like I said, this team challenge will totally end well.
9:23 The award for Captain Obvious goes to Becky, who points out it’s stressful to work with a partner! Yay Becky!
9:26 Apparently Bryce is a dark horse in the Massive Bitch race.
9:28 Tim is informing Viktor and Bert that the competition isn’t about drama. Hunh.
9:34 Viktor and Bert are still at it. Sigh.
9:35 There’s some huge red thing, a giant black tutu, Fallene’s tears anticipating a chance to shine, and Oliver and Anya making something purple
9:38 Fallene’s inability to cut things “on grain” is clearly going to be the downfall of her fashion career. Oh, and I think Bryce enjoys making her cry.
9:42 After the break, Project Runway’s very First Outdoor Show EVER.
9:49 Pressure’s on, kids! It’s Loreal Paris makeup room time!
9:52 It’s almost time for Michael Kors’ Mad Libs!
“This(body part) looks (psychological condition slang)!”
Well, we already know what it’s going to be tonight, but we should play this game every week, shouldn’t we?
9:58 Runway time!
Joshua and whatshername’s abomination comes out. It does look like Beetlejuice
Viktor and Bert’s model comes writhing out onto the runway. It’s bad, y’all. Really bad.
Bryce and Fallene’s cracked out Ballerina from Pink Floyd’s The Wall II is… blah
Becky and Kimberly’s model looks like she’s in Becky’s original collection, but on stilts.
Anya and Olivier’s model’s outfit is, well, it is.
Cecilia and Danielle’s garment looks like my Italian grandmother’s “special outing” wear. On stilts.
Anthony and Barbie’s model comes clomping down the runway. Why did no one tell any of the other designers this isn’t a drag show? Or is it?
This judging is going to be AWESOME, all.
10:08 Does anyone understand the point of the stilts? Anyone?
10:22 Harsh judging, y’all. Also, Kim Kardashian has discussed elegance, The Sound of Music/Gone With The Wind, and how showgirls and ballerinas are from different eras! I’m learning SO MUCH tonight.
10:27 Barbie wins! Probably because Anthony only glued the Kenley-feathers onto the dress and Barbie admitted to nothing.
10:28 Oh just get to it already – who’s auf?!
10:29 Bert is wearing white shoes. I just thought I’d point that out.
10:29 Fallene’s out. Was anyone all that surprised? The loser’s edit was strong with this one tonight.
10:31 Next week – designing for NGFDMCM! The judging will be a bloody shitshow, you mark my words.
