Okay, my lovelies. Yes, I think it’s okay to start talking like Cat Deeley if I’m discussing this show. Don’t like? Well, then that’s just bollocks! No? Okay, anyway, here we are at another elimination. It’s getting really hard, right? These kids are really starting to grow on us. Sure, we have our annoyances, but they all really want to be on the show so very much!
Let’s see who’s taking a bow tonight.
We open with the usual group routine. This time it’s a jazz number danced to the soundtrack of The Incredibles and choreographed by some new person named Michael Bruni. It was just sort of eh, right? Not overly memorable, not stunning, just another performance to chuck into the hat. Again, these folks are making me miss mean old Mia, and this is not a good thing! Sometimes you almost wish this was a competition for the choreographers as well. If so, I would say to Bruni, “That wasn’t nearly good enough, and The Incredibles was an animated movie from seven years ago; too recent to be a classic, and too old to be relevant. We are not impressed. You will now have to dance for your life!”
Cat Deeley and her Sternum Bling
You know how we said that Cat’s wardrobe has been kind of tame and a bit boring this season? Well, last night they listened to me and thought up something fun and awful for our favorite host. That’s right! There were purple feathers, a bedazzled chest plate, some sort of Avatar inspired woodland creature hair braid, and let’s not forget the colorful paint splotch jumper they let her run around in all evening….with pockets. She was like a Woodstock Muppet. It was fantastic! This is the sort of outrageous clothing migraine we expect from SYTYCD. Carry on.
We spend a little more time jawing with Nigel and Mary, discussing that silly Dance Day/Flash Mob ridiculousness, and rehashing that abominable kissing thing that involved a rabid case of visual mononucleosis amongst everyone who witnessed it, and finally we’re learning who’s on the chopping block tonight. Of course, Melanie and Marko are safe, did you see the crying at the beginning of that routine? Sasha and Alexander and their disembodied piano hands are also safe. Jordan and Tadd and their Lifetime Movie of the week about frat parties sail through. Ricky and Ryan‘s tethered breast straps have impressed viewers so they’re not in the bottom. And lastly, Jess and Clarice doing their best Juke Joint Croon-and-Dance-Shebop managed to get some votes. That leaves Ashley and Chris and their un-Beetlejuice, Beetlegoosed routine, Miranda and Robert‘s sagging Broadway number, and Caitlynn and Mitchell‘s overly Bootylicious Samba in the bottom. We basically expected this. These undoubtedly were the less received dances of the night.
The Performances:
Wow, the AXIS Dance Company was just amazing. It was a terribly moving and inspiring wheelchair pas de deux. The creativity and the strength involved was something that I’ve never seen, and perhaps it opens the door for a different kind of performance. Wonder if Nigel is taking notes? Second to take the stage was theatrical ballroom champions Eric Luna and Georgia. I’m not even sure what I witnessed. It was all impossible lifts and effortless execution. These two moved like water it was so fluid. It almost wasn’t like dancing…it was more like floating. They even managed to work in some sort of near Pamchenko move with a gravity-defying head spin. Toe Pick! Awesome.
Our three couples dance for their lives. Both Mitchell and Chris danced with emotion and drama, laying everything out on the line. Robert did his best, but it was pretty apparent that he would be going home, and without much fanfare that’s what happened. He gifted the audience with a final woo-hoo, and graciously took his bow.
The girls were much harder to judge. They all did Contemporary routines, and they all pulled out their stock moves. The legs popped up, the beatific faces turned toward the judges, but they all did basically the same thing…except, I think Miranda was slightly better than Ashley. Right?
However, Miranda and her endless legs were sent home…and I think she was sore about it. Did you notice that she didn’t hug Ashley? You guys judge and tell me. What do you think?
