If you’re like me, you may have seen a headline in your news feed Wednesday evening that read something like “Republicans Agree to Revenue Increases.”
Of course, because I’m an optimist, or, maybe, a dummy, I assumed that to mean that the GOP had finally come to their senses and realized that a large majority of Americans support modest tax increases as part of the package to cut the deficit. Again, though, if you’re like me, and thought this might be the case, you’re clearly a sucker.
That’s because, if you read what’s actually being said, you’ll find out that by ‘raise revenues’, the GOP actually means ‘raise government fees’ and ‘sell government property’. That sounds like a terrific idea, right? Because then, taxes don’t have to go up!
Then, because you’re moderately intelligent, you realize that if you have to pay $50 more for a license or permit and your favorite hedge fund manager has to pay an extra $50 for that same permit, that fee increase is disproportionately hitting you. Shared sacrifice, am I right?
But hey, we can always sell off our assets, no? Unfortunately, as we’ve covered before, selling assets is a temporary solution. Seeing as how the government doesn’t you know, make stuff, we can’t just keep turning around and selling stuff every few years to solve for our budget problems. So, maybe we sell off some land, close the deficit gap this year and next, but by 2018, we’re pawning the Lincoln Memorial.
Oh, but Eric Cantor, he of the stomping out of debt ceiling negotiations tactic, says that they will look at closing some loopholes. However! This is only under the condition that ‘Any discussion about loopholes must be accompanied by offsetting tax cuts’, according to Cantor. That’s what we call a zero sum, and therefore not an actual discussion about revenues. So, for all you private jet owners who were getting a little nervous, maybe now’s the time to look into a yacht purchase? Yachts need larger crews than a plane, so, job creation, baby! With the cost of gasoline staying up, I’m sure the nation’s poor can find themselves a good gig on a rowing crew for Lloyd Blankfein.
