I am a disillusioned newsperson. I am crumbled against the dumpster in the alley even as we speak, wearing my tattered fedora, pulling a flask of cheap gin from the pocket of my filthy trenchcoat. And yet: I give you the morning headlines. Because a newsgirl never gives up.
The death toll in Joplin, Missouri is astonishing. Rescuers are going door to door — or pile-to-pile — trying to find survivors who are buried and trapped. As of 9PM last night, they’d found found seventeen. Incredible pictures from the Kansas City Star.
The high court tells California it can’t cram prisoners into prisons like sardines into cans.
Mon Deui! It appears some jism from Dominique Strauss-Khan matched the maid’s clothing. Ew.
What the fuck is wrong with people? A woman accused of trying to sell her daughter’s virginity. The kid is seven.
American Airlines steals tips. Allegedly.
A big fine for being a big jerk.
I continue to be amazed by the clusterfuck that is American schooling. Look what goes into ensuring a kid gets recess.
This kid is the stuff of legend.
Cubicle monkeys FTW!
Bob Dylan is 70.
