Impatience may seem like a childish trait, but having to wait doesn’t really get any easier as you get older. Being able to legally drink doesn’t make it any easier when the concert you can’t wait to go to is still three months away. Having a real job and responsibilities hardly takes the edge off the fact that the newest Geraldine Brooks novel won’t be available in paperback for another year, or that Final Fantasy MDCCLXXVI is still light years away. And seeing those first gray hairs certainly doesn’t help with the fact that Mad Men won’t be reappearing until 2012 and 30 Rock‘s return revolves around baby Fey-Richmond’s arrival.
But alas, waiting is a fact of life, and, more importantly (or at least more relevantly for this post), a fact of television. It’s bad enough that we won’t get to check out the approximately three shows coming out this fall that actually look good for another four months, but we’ll have to wait even longer for the midseason replacements listed below, many of which betray a serious flaw in network scheduling by looking way better than the shows for which they’ve been bumped.
Work It–I don’t what? takes on a whole new meaning in this show about two men who hate their jobs so they decide to go drag to get jobs as pharma reps. That should be funny for five minutes or so.
Scandal–Don’t feel too bad for Shonda Rhimes over the cancellation of her third romance-and-drama filled medical show, Off the Map, because she’s already got a new addition coming to ABC to complete her trilogy which already includes Grey’s Anatomy and its spinoff, Private Practice. This time, Rhimes has ditched the medical theme in favor of politics and finally found a female lead that people don’t love to hate in Kerry Washington (Ray, Save the Last Dance).
Good Christian Belles–The second 2011 pilot to see “Bitch” dropped from its title (the show was originally called Good Christian Bitches) sees Leslie Bibb (Popular, The Skulls) return to her super-Christian Texas hometown and discover that–surprise!–everyone’s a bitch. So, again, Popular. But with Kristin Chenowith!
Apt. 23 (Tuesdays at 9:30 p.m.)–The formerly fabulously titled Don’t Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23 is my personal favorite sight-unseen pick for fall, thanks to a fantastic cast consisting of Krysten Ritter (Veronica Mars, ‘Til Death, that episode of Gossip Girl that was supposed to help it spin off but then that never happened), Dreama Walker (Gossip Girl, The Good Wife) and James van der Beek (Dawson!) Walker will be playing June, an innocent southern newcomer to NYC who moves in with wild party chick Chloe, played by Ritter. Van der Beek will be playing Chloe’s best friend in a performance that I’m praying will echo his hilariously smarmy but brief turn on One Tree Hill.
The River–An Amazon-set drama starring people I’ve never heard of from shows I never watched that sounds like something I would never even DVR. Officially, however, it’s about a family attempting to rescue their missing father and stars Bruce Greenwood, Leslie Hope, Eloise Mumford, and Joe Anderson.
Missing (Midseason replacement)–Ashley Judd stars as an ex-CIA agent whose husband–also a CIA agent–was murdered ten years earlier, and whose son has just gone missing. Apparently, people disappearing is really hot this season. And Ashley Judd is really hot always, so, do with that what you will.
Alcatraz (Mondays at 9 p.m.)–More J.J. Abrams! This drama centered around the infamous prison features Sarah Jones (Sons of Anarchy), Jorge Garcia (Lost, the cover of Weezer’s inexplicably named Hurley), Sam Neill (Jurassic Park), and Parminder Nagra (ER, Bend it Like Beckham) teaming up to uncover the mysteries behind old crimes and the reappearances of prisoners long thought dead.
The Finder (Thursdays at 9 p.m.) No surprises with the title here; this show is about Geoff Stults (Seventh Heaven, October Road) being really, really good at finding stuff.
Napoleon Dynamite (Sundays at 8:30 p.m.)–Yup, that Napoleon Dynamite, now in an animated version!
The Firm (Sundays at 10 p.m.)–In a sequel of sorts to John Grisham’s best-selling novel-turned-Tom Cruise movie, this still-uncasted show follows Mitch and Abby years after the events of the book have taken place.
Are You There, Vodka? It’s me, Chelsea)–Yes, seriously. That 70s Show‘s Laura Prepon will be playing young Chelsea in this show based on Chelsea Handler’s life back when she was actually the age she pretends to be now. Handler will guest star as her own older sister.
Awake (midseason replacement)–Formerly called REM, this show features a cop played by Brotherhood‘s Jason Isaacs who wakes up after an accident and finds that he can alternate between two different realities–one in which his wife survived the accident but his son did not, and one in which his son survived but his wife did not.
Bent (midseason replacement)–One of the shows I most strongly predict will not last more than the six episodes for which it was picked up, Bent features Amanda Peet (Jack & Jill, Studio 60) as a new divorcee who wants to bang her new contractor (David Walton, from the about-to-be-canceled Perfect Couples), but tries not to, soooo, yeah. Good, lasting premise that doesn’t sound anything like a thousand other shows that have already failed. Hey, on a completely unrelated note, anyone wanna come by for a Jesse marathon later?
Smash (Midseason replacement, Mondays at 10 p.m.)—This oddly-but-interestingly cast Glee-esque show features Debra Messing, Katharine McFee, and Anjelica Huston working together to get a Marilyn Monroe-centric show on Broadway.
Best Friends Forever–One BFF takes in another BFF to live with her and her boyfriend. Unless there is a threesome about twenty minutes into the pilot, I expect this show with no big-name stars to tank before it’s six-episode pickup even runs out.
The 2-2–Remember LeeLee Sobieski? No? She was an actress? In stuff? She’s blond? No, the other blonde? Yeah! That’s the one! Anyway, she stars in this cop drama (because it was very important that we get more cop dramas after seeing how well they did this past season) along with Adam Goldberg (Friends, and lots of other stuff, but mostly he was Eddie on Friends) and some other people.
So! What will you be watching? And, equally important, which if any of these shows do you think should’ve been coming to a home theater near you this fall?
