On Friday, I received an e-mail from the pole dancing studio where I take classes notifying me that it was closing as of April 3. My heart sank a bit at the news. Not only because I’ll miss visiting that studio and the women who gathered there, but because of how much the space helped me.
While pole dancing may be seen as the latest workout du jour for just about anyone, including Jesus, it also provided (at least) one woman — me — with a way to find the dormant sexiness and awaken it.
Two years ago, I decided to sign up for Level 1 at the studio on a whim. I’d never done anything like pole dancing and after signing up, kept thinking, “Oh god, what the hell is my fat ass going to do on this fucking pole?!!”
Thankfully, that feeling quickly faded away. The studio space was small, which meant each class only had six women at a maximum. Each woman had their own story, some saw the class as a means of getting exercise, some wanted to learn how to pole dance for flirtation with their significant other, and then there were women like me — very shy, somewhat awkward, and convinced that they couldn’t be sexy if their life depended on it.
After the first class, I was hooked…and bruised in placed I’d never been bruised before. There was just something freeing about the experience. No one laughed at me if I couldn’t do the pole trick perfectly after 10 tries. Instead, there was constant encouragement from everyone.
From the freedom found in the studio, it seeped into my everyday life. Slowly but surely, I noticed myself buying flirtier underthings, thigh-high stockings, and shoes with a four-inch (or more) heel. I held my head a bit higher. My friends saw my confidence improving.
Since that first class, I went on to take a couple more and performed in the first “recital” held in the studio. (The above photo may or may not be of yours truly.) Until a knee injury forced me to slow down, I visited weekly to work out with a group of industry pole performers who frequented the studio. My range of motion is still great and as my instructor/friend Holladay once said, “You may not have a boyfriend now, but I’ll make you flexible enough to make people think you do!” Indeed she did.
Although I would be the first in admitting I still have many hurdles to get over before becoming fully happy with myself, taking classes at that studio and meeting some great people along the way has helped in removing many of those obstacles out of the way.
The Portland-based band, The Ravishers, recently released a video for their song, “Underachievers,” which includes scenes filmed at my favorite studio. One of my teachers, who I also count as one of my friends, is shown in studio scenes, too.
So long Primal Beginnings, and thank you for all you’ve done.
