By badhatharry and Daisy Walker
Another F1 season is upon us. If you are one of like three people here who watch it, then you already know this stuff. If you want to learn a bit about the pinnacle in racing, then come on in. I was hoping to get this up before this weekend, but I’m a lazy bastard, so suck it.
The Formula 1 track contains 24 driver, the most of which you don’t really need to know about. The ones who you do, are listed below.
Lewis Hamilton (McLaren)
The first multiracial F1 driver, Hamilton was signed to the McLaren youth development program at the age of 13. He made his debut in 2007, finishing second in the World Championship by one point. The following year, he won the title by the same margin in what many claim as the most exciting season finish ever. Has a major rivalry with Alonso, who accused McLaren of favoritism towards then-teammate Hamilton during the 2007 season.
Jenson Button (McLaren)
The 2009 World Champion, Button has been a bit of a F1 journeyman until partnering with Ross Brawn at the old Honda team and caught lightning in a bottle. An expert at conserving his tires, Button’s smooth style is a sharp contrast to Hamilton’s aggressive approach, but new teammates’ appear to have a good relationship. Button was the victim of an attempted carjacking/kidnapping/robbery at last season’s Brazilian GP weekend.
Fernando Alonso (Ferrari)
Two-time World Champion, Alonso’s aggressive driving style has won him plenty of fans and also many detractors. Controversy has followed him throughout his F1 career, including conflicts with Hamilton, Schumacher and his current teammate Massa. He is often referred to as “the most complete driver on the grid,” but also a driver who will win by any means necessary.
Felipe Massa (Ferrari)
Rebounding strongly from a life-threatening injury at the 2009 Hungarian GP, Massa has finished as high as second in the World Championship (2008). At the 2010 German GP, Massa was involved in the “team orders” controversy at Ferrari when he received instructions from a team engineer that implied he should allow Alonso (ranked higher in points) to pass him. Ferrari were subsequently fined for not following sporting regulations.
Sebastian Vettel (Red Bull)
Defending World Champion, and at 23, the youngest ever to win the title. Hailed as the “Next Schumacher,” Vettel is now firmly established as the lead driver for his team after some mid-season tension with Webber in 2010.
Mark Webber (Red Bull)
After 6 years with uncompetitive teams, Webber won his first F1 race in 2009 after joining Red Bull Racing. After leading the Championship for a long period in 2010, he eventually finished the season in third place. Webber crashed spectacularly at the 2010 European GP, flipping his car end over end. He also revealed after the season that he had competed in the final four races with a small fracture in his right shoulder.
Seven time world champion (five of those with Ferrari), the German returned to F1 last year after a three year retirement to join former Ferrari team manager Ross Brawn at the new Mercedes team. Results have been less than stellar, and he’s frequently been outclassed by his younger and less experienced teammate, Nico Rosberg.
Robert Kubica (Renault)
In February 2011, Kubica was severely injured in a rally race event, almost losing part of his right arm and hand and requiring four surgeries. His F1 future is uncertain, and Nick Heidfeld will replace him at Renault during Kubica’s recovery.
(everyone give a shout-out to Daisy Walker for writing those driver bios)
The season opener this year is in Australia. It was going to be held in Bahrain, but pick up a paper, and you’ll find out why that didn’t happen. Bernie Ecclestone, the rich Englishman with the mop haircut who owns the commercial rights to the sport, is trying to figure out a way to shove that race in later in the schedule. Bernie is also toying with the ridiculous idea of installing sprinklers on the tracks so if the race is boring, they can turn it into a wet one. The drivers, and everyone else with an IQ above 80, are against this. The tire supplier for this year, Pirelli, supports this idea, because I think they feel it will take focus away from the fact that their tires don’t last very long.
There are two drivers to a team. The drivers race and accumulate points based on what place they take. The points are tallied at the end of the season, and the driver with the most wins the driver’s championship. The points of each driver on a team are tallied, and whichever team has the most between their two drivers wins the constructor’s championship. Last season was Sebastian Vettel and Red Bull, respectively.
That’s it for the overview. We don’t want to hit you with too many facts all at once. This column will either continue throughout the season, or until they stop posting it due to lack of interest. In the next installment, we will discuss the outcome of the Australian GP, and what KERS is and what moveable wings are.
