This Post is Hazardous to your Health: A Review

This is going to be a horribly unpopular post, and I don’t care.  You know why I don’t care?  Because I’m a smoker.  And, from what I hear, all the time, regularly, ad nauseum, by virtue of my being a smoker, I don’t care about myself or anyone else.  So, that’s cool.  Easier for me.

On to the reviews/memoir.

These were the first cigarettes I smoked.  Because that’s what she smoked.

(Surprise, surprise.  Yes, I started smoking because of a girl.)

The original blend was really nice.  It was a really light cigarette, but with a nice leafy flavor.

Dry without tasting burnt.

Then Winston went “additive-free,” and they started to taste like urine.  Figure that one out.

Marlboro Lights.  They made me feel nauseous.  I didn’t smoke them for very long.

The taste was good, but seriously they were like smoking MSG.

Totally decent cigarette.  The Budweiser of Cigarettes.  Nothing fancy, but inoffensive.

I went through this phase briefly before I found…

Now this was my brand.  The King of Smokes.  They say they’re toasted.  I believe it.  The perfect golden leaf.  Flavorful, nice smell, full-bodied, really tobacco-ey.  No additive after-taste.

I picked a picture with non-U.S. packaging for a reason.  They don’t sell them in the U.S. anymore.  Bastards.

Oh, yeah, I went through this phase too.  I’m not proud.  I was in my mid-20’s and living in New York.  I thought it was some kind of City Regulation that I had to smoke them.

They actually aren’t bad.

The flavor is a little thin, but the little air pocket at the end of the filter is pretty cool.

I’ve also tried plenty of others along the way.  Menthol I just don’t get.  Why cover up the tobacco?  Reds and Non-filtered Luckies?  Good, but I tend to need my voice the next day.

Nat Shermans and assorted French and Canadian cigarettes?  Yummy, but I just feel too much like a prick when I smoke them.  (And smoking makes me feel enough like a prick by itself.)

I do love, however, the way Canadian cigarettes pack 25 shorties instead of 20 longer ones.

That’s genius.  Because really I rarely want a full cigarette.

Well, I guess it’s genius for me, but probably not for the cigarette companies, because I would have to buy new cigarettes less often.

Here is where I am now.  It’s a damned fine cigarette.  The taxes in New York make all cigarettes so expensive that they aren’t any more expensive than any of the ones above anymore.

They last longer, really full flavor.  No additives.  They pack them so tight that you have to loosen the tobacco for an even burn instead of tamping the box to pack the leaf like with other smokes.

So that’s the history of my slow march to lung disease.  I hope you enjoyed it as much as I have.  Although, from what I hear, you probably haven’t.

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